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2 Bumps

Custody battle

So this is my story...
I really don't even know where to start in all of this, so much has happened since I moved out of my grandparents house 3 years ago! Guess the best place is to start at the very beginning...
So my baby daddy, well we knew each other ever since we were in 8th grade so we had history...well we were together on and off for 2 years, when he broke up with me I took it really hard and I didn't know how to move on with my life...I couldn't understand what I had done to make things so terrible between us that he felt like he had to end the whole relationship.I know most of you are going to think this is terrible but here it goes...after our brake up a few weeks we decided to fuck buddies. Worst mistake I've probably ever made and I do regret it, let me tell ya. I guess I thought at the time if we were fuck buddies he would eventually come back to me and want me back...anyways, 5 months after our brake up I find out that I am 5 months pregnant...I was already pregnant before we broke up and he took it very well...he already has another child with another girl.
So, he was great at first....he went to all the doctor appointments and was there when our son was born. I thought that things were going to be pretty good, ha boy was I wrong! Things got worse over time...when we first brought our son home he was dating a 15 year old girl and he was 20 at time...he spent more time with his girlfriend then he did with his son. I lived with him at this time. I was always spending my days taking care of our son which doesn't bother me any I love spending time with that little guy...he never put him down for bed hardly ever! I didn't know how to comfront him about the things that were on our mind without us getting into an argument...and I eventually moved out of his house just because I coudn't take his crap anymore...I still loved him at the time and he broke up with that girl to be with someone else and it hurt me a lot. We definately stopped sleeping together and it was definately for the better! Like I said, I don't know what the hell I was thinking! I used to think that these girls were the reason why he didn't spend a whole lot of time with his son but it was the other way around...he didn't want to spend as much time with him as much as I did.
So now our son is 19 months old almost, I have completely moved on with my life and I don't love him anymore...in fact I couldn't be anymore pissed off at him then I am right now! I have a wonderful man in my life who treats me and my son amazingly! But, I can definatly see now that my son's father is not spending a lot of time with him at all...he's usually with his fuck buddies, playing ps3, or into a whole bunch of drama! I asked him a few times if he could watch our son for a couple of hours because I had some things to do...and what do I get? One excuse after the other...I thought he was actually telling me the truth but about a week or so ago I find out different from one of his ex girlfriends who I am really good friends with.
I have been thinking for a while now to get full custody of my son for several reasons, first off he has canceled out on our son a lot and that isn't right at all, he hasn't supported him what so ever in his needs because he has no job...he sits on his butt all day! he hardly ever asks about him or even takes him but every couple of months and says that is my fault because I never talk to him. Well first of all I never ask him to take our son because he always has an excuse! He just hasn't been much of a father to our son and I have talked to him about this...that he needs to spen dmore time with him because he doesn't know who his father is...my son thinks my boyfriend is his father and he has treated my son like his own child and didn't mean to make my son think that he is his dad! Just one day my son kept calling him da da! He still does it to this day...he hasn't payed anything in childsupport! Plus he's on probation for the next 5 years, he only got his GED because he had to! Plus if we can't work things out like this then how am I supposed to put up with his crap? He's awesome when he has my son from what I have been told but it's just the point of him setting up a weekend to see him!
Do I even have much of a case?
How do I prepare myself for this?
I have already written down dates that he took him for a weekend and what goes on...
I just want what is best fo rmy little boy...and i showed my son a picture of his father and I when we were together and he said ma ma when he saw it but i pointed at his father and he had no clue who it was...he never calls him da da when he is over there with him from what I have been told...to our son he's a complete stranger!
btw sorry I'm anonymous everyone...I have my reasons!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (2)
  • well id say you have reasons to be concerned and would ask for supervised visits til your son got to know who his bio dad is..id ask for the court to appoint someone to supervise his visits and go from what the offical says...what ever you do after this is established DO NOT devaite from it..also id go for sole coustody..dad would have parenting time thats pretty much it ..might want to look into a good lawyer that shAre your concerns and keep wrighting everything down...and dont be sorry for being anonymous thier are some ?s that ppl dont need to know who you are and no one minds...good luck
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • What is sole custody? I've never heard of it...I'm pretty new to all of this I never wanted it to go this far, I wanted to be able to work things out without taking it to court...but I guess sometimes you got to do what you feel is right huh? But I guess supervised visits wouldn't be too bad...at least someone is watching his every move so I know my little man is okay...last I heard his other son was over there...well he got into a fight with another adult and his son got pushed off the porch and it got me thinking...and I wanted to be anonymous just because I don't k now if I can trust people that know my baby daddy to tell them what I said...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

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