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3 Bumps

How do you tell a mom her child is being a brat - AGAIN !?!

during the summer I babysit a 9 year old boy , honestly I do not like it, but we really need the money ( not to say I do not like watching kids, it just happens to be this boy) ...

Now I dont want it to sound as if i hold resentment against him or that I do not still take excellent care of him, but honestly I am just VERY annoyed.. I can handle stress more than most people, but by the time his mom has come to get him I am surprised i still have hair left.

he does not listen at all, he is constantly bossy to my kids AND to me, eats me out of house and home, and tears up everything... for example, he was playing in my daughter rooms because she fell asleep on the couch (nap) , i was checking on him about every 5-10 minutes while I cleaned ... of course i didnt think every 5-10 mintues is a problem because I can do this with my 3 and 4 year olds with no problem...

So about 7 minutes by, I stuck my head back in the door to see what he was doing...

he tore EVERYTHING out of her closet... all of her clothes, all the shoes and toys... everything was off and out of her dressers ... the toy box upside down ....

Now i dont care if the toy box was dumped out... I expect kids to play with them... the fact is, why in the world would he feel the need to get all the clothes and THROW them around...

he then refused to pick them up, so I made him go sit in the living room until he was ready to pick them up... 35 mintues went by, and his mom came, now he sit on that chair making faces at me and everything and then the minute she walks in the door, he turns the water works on....

I have told her nicely beofre about how he acts and asked if there is something I should do or say to him when he acts that way... she said she would have a talk with him... and this time she says " all kids do that, just ignore it when he does" ... how can i ignore it, I have to spend my evening picking it all back up ...

So now I had to tell him he isnt aloud in there and he can just bring a few toys to the room I am in since I cant trust that takes care of the mess making but i dont know what to do about the name calling, the being mean to my kids, and everything else he does... his mom thinks there is no problem!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • honestly i would say that she needs to have a talk with him about his behaviour or you won't watch him anymore. i know you need the money, but chances are she needs you to watch him more and she will do it. plus i would keep him on a very short leash....only allowed in certain rooms and not out of your sight. i would also tell her to pack a snack/lunch for him since he's eating so much. gl and don't back down

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 1:17 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • i would first of all tell his mom she needs to provide his food. and if he refused to clean it up, i'd wait til his mom got there and tell her she can go pick it up. he's 9 for god's sake, not 4.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:17 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Even though you need the money, it's not worth the headache. I would tell her that unless his destructive and disruptive behaviors stop, you will no long be able to babysit him. Honestly, I would start looking for another child to babysit because based on what she said, she isn't going to discipline his bad behavior.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 1:19 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I think the main reason i am getting so annoyed is because I have been looking for another kid to watch since last fall... and it just feels like i HAVE to watch him...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:28 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • There are plenty of other kids in this world to baby sit. You have told his mother atleast twice and she has told you to just ignore him?! I'd guess she pays him 'no' attention and that's why he's acting up! Tell them both goodbye. You don't need this. Do a little advertising and you will have plenty of GOOD kids to babysit in 'no' time.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 1:32 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Did you show his mother the room he tore apart? If it was my child & I saw that, I would make my child pick it all up.

    Do you have a cell phone w/a video option? I'd start taping him and showing it to her. Pretty hard to weasel his way out of that. And if she makes excuses after seeing that, time for her to find a new place to have her son watched.

    Good luck!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 3:02 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I babysit and have a little girl in my who was like that and would tear things up. One day she made a huge mess right before her parents picked her up. Her mom arrived and I let her know her daughter had stuff to pick up so it would be a minute. She got mad at me and I showed her the mess she told me too bad they were leaving. I needed the money but stood my ground and told the mom if she didn't allow her daughter to pick up her mess per our contract the child would not be allowed back in the home the next day. The mom rolled her eyes and made her clean up the mess. This happened a few times until mom got on to her she was tired of waiting at pick up. I felt it sucked I had to force her to parent her child but she did and the little girl is wonderful now and respectful of the rules.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I feel your pain. I watched 2 girls and didn't like how things were changing in our house to accomidate them. It was stressing me out and I no longer enjoyed having them in my home. I had another baby and since then have not watched them again. It's not worth the stress. Now we could really use the money but I decided to put my kids and my family first. We're going to have to figure something else out.
    I'd tell him mom that that kind of behaviour is not acceptable. It's not like he was just playing and made a mess, he was being destructive and disrespectful. Tell her that if there comes a time when he makes a mess and refuses to pick it up (which a 9 yo is perfectly capable of) then she will be the one responsible for making him pick it up when she get's there or you she can pay you for your time spent cleaning up.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 3:01 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I understand you need the money, but if this kid is destroying your house and being disrespectful, it's not worth it. Tell his mom that either he straightens up, or you're not watching him anymore.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:04 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I would just tell her outright that you need help with feeding him and that if he doesn't start respecting you and your childrens home and things then you can't watch him anymore

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 11:07 AM on Jul. 17, 2011

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