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2 Bumps

How do I tell my mom that I can't stand her DH?

I have been really tolerant of my mom's DH. But his stupidity has really affected my relationship with her. She's been asking why I don't visit more often and I don't know how to tell her that it's because of him. I know that she knows deep down the real reason but I just don't want to hurt her feelings.
What say you? :)

Answer Question
 
mz_erica03

Asked by mz_erica03 at 7:04 PM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,499 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i use to have a close relationship with my mom, and when i didn't like whoever she was with i just told her straight up! idk how straightforward u are with ur mom, but that always worked for me.
    lovinlilman

    Answer by lovinlilman at 7:07 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Tell her the truth, as kindly as possible, and make it clear that you do not have a problem with her. Then, suck it up from time to time and go see her even when he's around.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 7:11 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • she probably is more hurt about the fact you don't want to visit since you don't want to see HER. she'd be better off knowing the truth frankly!
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 8:26 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • If your mother is happy, and he treats her well, you have no right to make any judgment whatsoever about the inteligence of her man. IF you love your mother as you say you do, you will put forth an effort to get along with her man and stop being a little child. If she is happy, that is all that matters. So put on your big girl panties and give your mother the respect and love she so deserves, along with the support and understanding of her relationship with her man. Its her life and her choice. Not yours.
    BrendaW.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 2:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Gee thanks BrendaW. When someone thinks they can tell me (a married grown woman) what to do and how to raise my kids... yes it does give me the right to judge them. When someone wants to waste the time I've allotted for visiting them by showing me how better they think they are than me.. yes, it will hinder the amount of visits I will make to their home.
    My question wasn't: "How do I accept the fact that my mother married an idiot because she settled due to her fear of being alone?"
    But thanks for your input. Have a good day!
    mz_erica03

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 3:17 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • To the other ladies, thanks for your response. My mom already knows that he makes all of us uncomfortable because she makes excuses for his rude behavior all the time. She tries to hard to get us to "like" him when we already told her that if she's happy, that's all that matters. I guess I should've been more clear, I was just not trying to type a novel. What she's questioning is why I don't hang out with her AND him. I see her all the time, my brother and I take her out to eat or we hang out at my brother's house. We just don't go see her at her house very much when he's around.
    mz_erica03

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

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