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11 Bumps

Ok so I'm pretty sure that this falls under the definition of a vent

But I've been meaning to post something like this for awhile since this general feeling has been going on for some time. I think it's just because I've been reading too many pregnancy books recently and I was already a little sensitive because I'm really alone in my family and friends and even to a certain extent complete strangers in my area(and of course on the internet).

I am a formula feeding,not by choice this time but probably in the future it will be and a c-section when we have baby number 2 elective c-section mother. I know double whammy and I am really tired of people assuming that I'm either selfish or illiterate(while English was never my best subject I read just fine thank you) . I'm also really tired of feeling like I have to justify my reasons(aka tell long sob story until they stop giving you the stink eye) for either one to complete strangers or family for crying out loud. I recognize that in most cases the alternatives are best for baby physically(I wish people would take mental more seriously for Mothers but they don't so whatever) but most and all are very different words with different meanings.

Just my two cents I wish all of you the best in your choices no matter what they be and wish for the same respect that's it. Who's with me on that we all deserve our choices respected? Heck bump if you believe in not being called a child abuser for legitimate parenting choices.
I feel the need to be anonymous with this kind of post because they just get too emotional and it feels like just a teensy tiny bit of a way to avoid the comments feeling so personal, it's purely a psychological reason but it works for me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I am sorry you have been bashed, but it might be time to keep things private. They can't bash you if you don't tell them, kwim.

    I understand the feeling though, because I actually returned to this site after a couple years away from it. I stopped enjoying it from all the nastiness on here. When I came back, there are things I flat out wont talk about because I want to be able to enjoy this site this time.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:23 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • The only thing that bothers me is cry it out. I think that is child abuse. But I suppose everyone has their "hot topics"

    As for breastfeeding- I did it for 12 months w my second and got ATTACKED terribly in the breastfeeding group for my daughters weaning so early. Regardless of what you do, there is always going to be some "super mom" just around the corner waiting to spout off about whatever they do "better" than you. Try not to let it get to you. You have to do what's right for you and your family.

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:30 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I agree completely. I am pretty new here and am stunned at the hatred and jealousy on here. I can't figure out why there are so many problems in the world today and why there are so many bratty kids when obviously we are among only perfect mothers who have perfect kids here.

    Join the club, girl! I have 3 little girls that I love more than I ever thought possible, but some days I have to throw my hands up in the air because I just don't know what the hell to do sometimes! (shhh, don't tell anyone else I'm not perfect, though!)

    Answer by PTmomma3 at 10:30 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • In real life people aren't as mean as they are on cafe mom. If you want to keep your business to yourself, don't post about what you do/plan to do.

    Answer by mamatel at 10:35 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • @Mom-2-3-Girlz it's not just on the site it's also in my family. I had to leave my due date club when the nastiness got too much after I said I was having a c-section for breech and that I was planning on having my son circumcised. With the c-section I was looking for support and I only answered the circumcision because somebody asked.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:35 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • @mamatel I'm the only one in my family if I don't get my info from a book or the internet then I don't get it at all. I've had issues with people in the formula feeding and c-section groups being anti formula feeding and anti c-section. See the issue here?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:39 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • everywhere you turn, someone is going to disagree with your parenting styles, and choices. so your formula feeding-so did i. for me, it was by choice, not because i was unable to feed. i tried to pump after we came home from the hospital, and after 30 minutes of agony, i managed to get 2 drops of milk in that bottle. i was in tears by that point. not so much for the pain, but all that effort and only 2 measly drops! honestly, i want a c-section this time around. i'm 12 weeks along with my second. i have lower back problems, so it's more of a health risk for me to push a baby out again. i use a long scarf tied around my toddlers waist as a kid leash sometimes, and i can just hear the whispers. i don't care. it's my kid! she's safe, and i have total control of where she can go. that's one less kid running around like a heathen brat because the parent can't seem to gain control.

    Answer by pinkpaisley8709 at 10:43 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • If nothing else I have an issue that this is occurring at all to any woman not just myself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:45 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • @pinkpaisley8709 I expect disagreement I didn't expect all this from my own family let alone complete strangers.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I went thru the same thing about my kids. I formula fed for medical reasons and I circumcised both of my boys. I think it is up to each mom to choose what she feels is best for her and her child/ren, who am I to judge. I finally go to the point that I would tell people, when you deal with the consequences of MY actions then your opinion will matter until then mid your own business.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

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