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My bfs children! Need Advice!

Would you support him if he wanted to sign his rights over to them? He thinks that they will understand why he signed them over and who their real dad is when they get older. I think they will have the thought my dad didnt care he just signed us away. I come from a divorced family and understand how children can be hurt by their parents. He doesnt even know who his dad is. His mom keeps telling him its someone else. His ex wants him to sign his rights over bc she wants to move to FL. She doesnt let him see them anyways. He has only seen them like 4 or 5 times in a year and thats bc his sister babysits and lets us see them in secret. His son does call him daddy and looks just like him, he is 3and my BFs name is on the birth certificate. His daughter is almost 2 and has barely been around him and doesnt know him at all. His name isnt on her birth certificate bc his ex was married to someone else when she was born. He doesnt think she looks like him at all. I think she looks like her brother but Im not sure bc he says she is his sometimes then says he doesnt know or she isnt his. Sorry its long!

Answer Question
 
Heather021287

Asked by Heather021287 at 10:50 PM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My father did that to me and my sister when we were just babies, and he never had anything to do with us! His explanation was that my mother pressured him so much that he finally caved ?! I don't believe that, no one has to do that, it's your choice to make! If that's what your friend wants to do then there isn't much you can do about it. If someone truly cares about they're children then nothing should come in there way of being a good parent, granted she's making it difficult but he's the dad and she can't change that no matter how hard she tries! From what you've said, I'm just wondering... where is his backbone?

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 11:12 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I agree with you...I think they will see it as him not caring and not wanting them. If he wants a relationship with his children, I would discourage him as much as you can from doing it.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:17 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • His children will not understand why he signed his rights away. They will always wonder what they did wrong or why they weren't good enough for him. I have watched my nephew grow up this way and its the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. Personally, I think its the most selfish, heartless thing a person can do, and my advice to you would be to think long and hard about being with a man who could do such a thing.
    PTmomma3

    Answer by PTmomma3 at 11:18 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • how much do these kids mean to him? could he live with himself if he did sign his rights away? I can't even believe a parent would even want to make such a decision, especially a father. I know how hard it is for most fathers. They're rights more often than not get overlooked in place of the mother's. I know of one father who has to fight with his ex almost on a daily basis cuz she's an idiot and tries to deny him time with their kids. this father would and does do everything he can to be a part of their lives even if it means dealing with their mentally unstable mother for the rest of their days. his kids mean the world to him.
    mmsfirstone

    Answer by mmsfirstone at 11:22 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Why isn"t he seeing them? she can't keep them away from him, if he fights it...
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 11:23 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • my one son's dad signed over his rights so my husband could adopt him. for us it works the bio dad still sees him and offers support when needed. when he gets older we will explain the situation. my son doesnt know that the bio dad is really his dad, and has know my husband since day one as daddy.

    is his ex married to someone else? if so is he the acting parent?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • If his children mean anything to him then he should take his ex to court. Have paternity tests done and a custody and visitation document enforced. Of course he would be responsible for child support. If he is willing to just let his children go because it is inconvenient or difficult to see them then he doesn't deserve them. Is that the kind of man you really would want to be with??
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:24 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

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