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Not looking for a diagnosis just looking for some answers

my son who will be turning 4 this sunday has always been a little off- at first I thought that it might be that he was just developing at his own pace- u know the every child is different type of thinking. But when he turned 3 I started getting worried because he was so much more different than his brothers (even his younger brother was picking up on things that he didn't pick up on) I spoke to his dr (who should really be called a referral writer instead of a dr) and he sent me to an audiologist who said that she didn't think he was having hearing difficulties but she did see that he was having trouble understanding the simple games that she used to determine if a child could or could not hear, and that even though she wasn't qualified so diagnose it she did think he had more of a behavioral problem or delay. I told my dr this but he just doesn't seem to get my concern (if only he could spend a whole day with my son instead 15 minutes at a check up) anyways I am hoping that by me describing things to you all maybe someone has gone through similar things and you can tell me what you think and what my next step can be- and before you say get another dr, please know that where I live and with my insurance my dr is way better than others that i have taken my kids to- here goes- my son doesn't seem to focus, sometimes it takes multiple explanations to get him to do what I want him to do. I has great memorization when it comes to songs and if he watches a tv show 2 times he will know what words are coming next in a song or his favorite scene, if I read a story to him 2 or more times he will know if i skip a part and will refuse to let me go on til i complete it the right way, but unfortunately he doesn't use these skills for things like spelling his name, knowing things like getting dressed and so on. he gets really hyper active sometimes (but that is normal for little boys so im not too worried there) he repeats things over and over again and wont stop until i ok amir i hear you (even though i will acknowledge what he was saying before with oh yeah? really? and also by repeating what he has said none of that works) also he hits things repeatedly and screams and throws these horrible tantrums that none of my other kids ever went through (they had tantrums just not this bad) also I noticed he has one of the worst diets ever- my other kids were out of their picky stages by now but when they were going through their stages i wouldn't make them a separate meal so when they got hungry enough they would eat what I made them but amir will sit there and go a whole day without eating so I broke down, now all he eats is crackers, chicken, cheese, and bananas. lets see- i think thats everything but if I think of more stuff I will add it in the comments section- please- if any of u can tell me u have gone through the same thing and give me some advice i would love it! thank you

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lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 11:37 PM on Jul. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 12 (759 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • oh I forgot to put that he also didn't start speaking until just about a year ago, and sometimes he will look you in the eyes but other times its like he looks through you and just isn't there
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 11:39 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • MAYBE it's a high functioning autism? Just a guess. Think Rain Man.... reads and remembers stuff. Can be obsessive about things. etc.

    Try a new pediatrician or maybe check out autism groups here on CM and see what they think.

    Hopefully some other ladies will have some better ideas for you. You're right, I definately think your son and his behaviors needs to be looked at further.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I have a son who was severely delayed. I have a grandson who has pervasive developemental disorder. What you describe sounds very little like things I have expierienced. However, you describe my cousin almost as if you know him. Years ago he was diagnosed as a 'savant' He has specialty skills in cetain areas but enormous deficiets in others. You need a need Dr. and an evaluation by a child pyschologist. Whatever it is, it isn't within 'normal' limits. The sooner the real issues are addressed the better for you, and him. Godspeed.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:46 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • also i don't know if this will help but when he was born i had a c section and there were complications because when they pulled him out he inhaled fluid and they had to put him on a (sp?) c pap oxygen
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 11:49 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I have 2 boys, 10 and 5. All kids are different and have different personalities. My 5 yr old sounds like what you described. He can get very hyper, when he's like that and you try to tell him to do something or not do something it's like talking to a brick wall. He has one of the worst tempers. When frustrated or mad he will scream at the top of his lungs, run away, slam doors. It doesn't take much to set him off. He eats basically nothing. Pop tarts, milk, cereal, chicken nuggets and vienna sausage is about it. He can eat other stuff if you catch him in the right mood. He's very smart, picks things up easily. We watch alot of discovery and science channel. He'll tell you about the solar system, name all the planets, knows about evaporation and clouds. Really things you wouldn't expect a 5 yr. old to know. but he has no interest in writing, don't really dress himself. And he's perfectly healthy. con't....
    Trinity001

    Answer by Trinity001 at 12:04 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I would look at it from a couple different angles here. On angle would be evaluate him physically. I see you posted about having his hearing checked, maybe have his eyes checked as well. I also thought autism or aspergers when reading your post. Another thing you could try is teaching him baby sign language if his speech isn't up to par to where you can understand him or he has trouble communicating his needs and wants. My daughter had trouble communicating what she wanted because she just wasn't ready to talk, so we taught her baby sign for simple things. After that, the tantrums subsided to less then once a day to even maybe once a week. Since he does seem to be able to comprehend things from tv and repeat them from memorization it could just be him learning at his speed. I'd research your area and find out what specialists there are and see about what tests they can do and what you can do to help him advance.
    babygoose78

    Answer by babygoose78 at 12:10 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I've never suspected anything. Maybe because my oldest has some issues with sensory integration, mild aspergers. I know his quirks, how he acted when he was little and how different my youngest is from him. As my dr. put it, unless their "quirks" interfere with everyday life (can't be around people, can't function properly) chances are they are fine. But only you know your child. You know if something isn't right. Don't ignore that gut feeling if you truely believe something is off. I noticed my oldests wierd behaviors early, but talked myself out of it saying it was just me being overprotective.
    Trinity001

    Answer by Trinity001 at 12:15 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I have not experienced thee things personally with my own child,but I have cared for children with very similar issues. It sounds has if you need to see a developmental psychologist with you child. Tell your dr that if he doesn't do the referral you will find someone who will listen to your concerns and help you help your child. My feelings are that he has a high functioning form of autism as well.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 12:24 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

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