Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

I give an A to all birth parents... Yes I am one...

Just wanted to say Hi to all who have given a child up for adoption. Mine is now 26 and she is doing great. We hope to meet when she gets back from her trip to Africa. She is a freelance photographer and I am so proud of her.

Answer Question

Asked by syida at 1:03 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Adoption

Level 12 (692 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think Birth mom's are very Strong women.. my Mother in love adopted a little baby girl at birth and the mom was in total agreement with the adoption and all but more power to her.. I couldnt do it myself.. Its probably one of the hardest sacrafices any person has to make ecspecially knowing its better for the child :)

    Answer by UAFwife at 1:21 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • amazing. the fact that you had the strength to give your baby up for adoption is admirable. i never have given my baby up but have a great abmirition for those who have for i know that it cannot be an easy thing to do.

    Answer by 2breath2live at 1:57 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • If anyone patted my mother on the back with props for surrendering me to adoption, I think I'd have to kick them in the knee
    My mom thought and believed with all her heart she was doing right and better for me by surrendering to genetic strangers. She had no idea that I would be placed with an adoptive family that had serious hangups with sex and infertility, and verbal physical abuse. My mom and I both deserved more from the promises of adoption to a *better* life. I certainly wasn't rescued ~ adoption worked backwards for me. I wish my mom would have fought harder to keep me.

    I don't think it's always appropriate to praise women for such a tragic thing as loosing their children to adoption. I'd bet they love their kids just as much as you- who could never let your child go.


    Answer by adopteeme at 3:52 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • OP, you do sound very proud, congrats to you and good luck on your reunion.

    adopteeme, I am sorry you had such difficult expirience, I am sure you are not alone.

    I am an adoptee who was glad to be adopted. My parents are far from perfect, but the alternative was not an option. I think there is no perfect situation. We are all just doing the best we can. As an adoptive mom, I will strive to make sure my sweet babies have a solid relationship with us, thier birthmom and siblings, and grow up to be strong, confident people. That is all we can do right?

    Answer by ochsamom at 10:46 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • OP, I am happy for you and your daughter. Also jealous, I have always wanted to travel through Africa. Exciting. Adopteeme, I am always glad to hear your perspective. And you are right, celebration is not the right word to describe the thoughts and feelings of many who view it as having very little other options or resources to raise their child. Ochsamom, I am glad you had an amazing experience and your parents a blessing. But every person's experience is valid. Good, mixed bag, to really ugly. It is important to recognize all experiences. If Adopteeme's experiences continues to be silenced and picked a part as nothing more than bitter then the injustice is silencing all victims of abuse. It appears she is a survivor of a lot of bad things and part of her personal story is it began by a choice she did not make for herself - her first mother did. It's moving and powerful. But so is your's.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:53 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I know Ochsamom is not picking at Adopteeme - but many here always point out how it puts a damper on some posts. I hate that.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:55 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • i gave my son up@21 to my cousin my son is 9yo now i dont get pics or anything my heart breaks bc i dnt know what he looks like all he knows is that hes adopted,one day hell know the truth and i hope he forgives me or doesnt hate me for giving hima better life my family is a bunch of jerks they act like i shouldnt know anything about him it startexd as an open adoption she went to another state and closed it it breaks my heart

    Answer by lilmama406 at 8:02 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I'm an AM but I was raised by my natural parents. They later divorced and I had a stepfather. IMO children don't usually have choices regardless of being adopted or not. Your parents make choices for you until you're at an age to make them for yourself. Natural parents also make bad choices when raising their children. I've lived that. I love my mom, she's my best friend. But she didn't always make the best or right choices for me and my siblings. We all have baggage, or are somewhat damaged...adopted or not. Does that mean that your baggage/damage is less or more then mine because you're adopted? Who knows, because you've never been in my shoes and I've never been in yours. So I couldn't say. I think that parents do the best they can or the best they know how. Is it always good enough? No! Everyone can improve and become a better you. But that's just my 2⊄!

    Answer by The3Vs at 11:35 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I am sorry for the bad experiences. I was being a back patter because of the daughter I have spoken to. I am sorry if I sounded like I am above the rest. I didn't mean to. I guess I am so dang happy that my adoptive daughter had such a good life. I wasn't trying to offend those who didn't have a good set of adoptive parents. I hope I am forgiven but I am so happy that Carolyn's life was great. Kisses and hugs to all.

    Comment by syida (original poster) at 1:16 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • "adopteeme, I am sorry you had such difficult expirience, I am sure you are not alone." was what I said regarding adopteeme

    frogdawq...I was actually trying to validate her expirience and add mine. Sorry if it came out wrong.

    Answer by ochsamom at 11:12 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.