Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Am I doing the right thing?

My son has a history of taking money from people. He has stopped doing it for quite some time and I thought he was over it. Anyway, I was thinking about my account yesterday and I was thinking that I should have more money than I do. I I went on the internet to check it out and discovered that he has been using my bank card to get gas in his car, not to mention a $10 car wash and withdrew $40 dollars from the ATM without telling me.

I finally decided that this is going to stop for good, so since he is now 18, he can go live with his Grandfather which has taught him to do these things. While I move me and my youngest child into a smaller apartment so I can get by easier than I am doing. He won't listen, so I feel that I don't have any choice but for this to happen. Nobody uses $60 for gas in 6 days. I've tried a lot of other things, but since he is old enough, I think it's time for him to see what it's like on his own. (NO BASHING, I FEEL BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS!) He needs to realize that there are consequences for his actions. Would you do the same thing?

Answer Question

Asked by amessageofhope at 1:30 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 23 (17,397 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • i can and have used 60$ worth of gas in 6 days.. Anyways i would kick his ass out too. how did he get ur pin number? how did he get your card?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I see no problem in what you're doing. You've given him chances before, it sounds like. And he hasn't taken advantage of the free room and board? So its his problem now, should have been working and saving, not stealing from you, cause thats what it is. Make sure you get all your cards he may have back and block his access to your money.

    He will just have to learn the hard way, and its not even the hardest, you could have had him arrested.

    Good luck

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:35 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • You are doing the right thing

    Answer by DianeMary at 1:36 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Probably yes. Whatever you are doing or did is for his own good.

    Answer by cookie269 at 1:38 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I would also kick him out considering you've been through this with several times in the past. Sounds like to me He needs a job himself that way the need to steal from you or anyone may not be a desire for him anymore. Idle hands are the devils workshop is what I was always told. At his age he knows better. If he was to steal again from someone else or you ,, I don't think you need to let it go anymore. He'd pay it back asap or He would be informed that I would get the cops involved. There is no since in it. Your doing the only thing left besides kicking him out onto his butt and being homeless!!! I know u couldn't do that! Good Luck!

    Answer by tlcawley at 1:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • You don't have much choice but to get tough with him, he's headed for prison if he doesnt stop what he's doing. My Prayers are with you.

    Answer by Sarah961 at 1:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Sleep with your purse. It is so hard isn't it? I have an 18 yr old and all this trying to move him to the next level is soooo tough on me.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 1:44 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Hang tough mom.....they need to learn and EARLY- crime does not pay! Stealing from your family is a CRIME-

    Answer by Sisteract at 1:46 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Stealing is stealing. The amount just gets larger over time.

    if he gets caught stealing by the law, he will have a criminal record which will affect his ability to rent an apartment on his own, get a job, or have a normal life. My husband and I just this week had to turn down a 'nice young man' who wanted to rent an apartment from us. He confessed that he had a felony record for a controlled substance and a DUI and we could not rent to him as the condo assn will not allow it. His father was with him and offered to rent the apt in his name, but still not allowed. That stuff has to stop by 18 or it will ruin his life.

    Answer by Frustrated111 at 1:47 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • yes you are doing the right thing. you shouldnt get any bashing over this. anyone with half a brain can tell you dont really want to do this you are doing it to make him understand that every action has a consequence that he will have to face. you are a great mother.

    Answer by 2breath2live at 2:01 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.