Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Abortion please no nasty comments, im just a mother who needs some help

i had an abortion a week ago, i was 7 weeks me and my husband made the choice together we have 3 children already.
are choice was based on my health issues along with the finacial problems we have at the moment, it was a very hard choice to make.
Im feeling horrible about this, my husband is hardly talking to me he's blaming him self...
Has anyone been through this? how do you cope?

Part of me knows i made the right choice, my health issues would have really caused problems for me most likely being in the hospital for long periods and seperating me from my other kids. And then struggling to pay medical bills on top of everything would have been a great strain.

But i just feel as a mother u protect your kids go up and beyond and do what it takes to get through whatever struggles may come.

im lost......

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Health

Answers (15)
  • I think since this is having such an impact on you(and it would with anyone) you should check into some type of consuling or after abortion counsiling(I think they offer that for free in places?). In the future you may want to consider couples conseling for you and your husband if he is still have difficulty.

    I think you need someone who understands this and is experienced to talk with and work on your feelings with.

    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:15 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Ii understand your decision, but I believe you may be suffering some guilt or pain from the choices you've made. It sounds like you and your husband should seek some counseling, so you can lay this all behind you. Catholic Family Services offers good, loving counsel, and they can charge you on a sliding fee scale based on your income. Please talk to someone! And also know that your body's hormones are still adjusting and shifting. It would be normal to feel a little depression at this time.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 2:21 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Never been through it myself, but just wanted to give a **cyber hug** because I can't imagine how hard it must have been to do. Please talk to someone to help you deal with your feelings, and maybe bring hubby along too.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 2:21 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • group hug

    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 2:29 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You made the right decision for your family and only you can truly know that. I don't think that you should feel guilty. Sadness is a natural human emotion to loss and loss is what you experienced. I too suggest counseling, but not with Catholic services. Why go somewhere where they wouldn't agree with the decision you made? You need supportive comfort.
    HollyBoBolly

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 2:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • You need to grieve. Allow yourself time, and as LoreleiSeija said, your homones are also still adjusting. Just because it was an elective abortion, doesn't mean it's easy to let go of your baby, so you should expect to grieve as you would losing any child.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I have been through it. If you want to message me I would be more than happy to listen to you. It is not an easy decision. You did what was best for you and your family. I would reccomend seeking counseling though. A week is not a long time, I would imagine the pain is still fresh. It may sound cliche but it will get easier as time passes. It will never go away but the hurt does lessen. Make sure you take care of yourself and stay connected to your husband. Don't let him blame himself, it could end up ruining your marriage. Take the time to give your kids an extra hug and kiss each day. Make sure they know how much you love them. Life is fragile, sometimes we take it for granted. Remember, don't beat yourself up. Take the time to heal, both emotionally and physically. You will be in my thoughts and I will send blessings your way. Stay strong.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:48 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • hugsBIG HUGS!!! I can't even begin to imagine what u and your dh are going thru, and I hope I never have to face a situation like u are. U are strong remember that.


     


    And to everyone else...Ya'll are being sooo kind!! I am so glad!!

    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:49 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • No judgement. I chose to go through one 19 years ago-you never forget.Least if you have a heart you don't. You have your ups and downs...Unless someone has walked in your shoes-no one should cast judgement.Healing takes time-both physically and emotionally. You and your husband need to talk-don't bottle this up-will only build resentment. ((((HUGS)))))
    ZsMommy

    Answer by ZsMommy at 2:51 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Thanks for the support and comforting words, i know this is a hard thing for everyone and we all have our own opinons of abortion.

    Im just so lost, the pain im feeling im heart broken.

    But the other side of me i know my health and life is more importnant my girls need a mother, it was not a choice made lightly both me and my husband worked through everything thinking what was the best thing for everyone.

    i just keep thinking of the what ifs, and was i wrong?
    in the ten years ive been with my husband never have i seen him like this, we really havent talked since last week i just dont know what to do.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:57 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN