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So I Just Found Out Last Night...

So to make a long story short, there is a sixteen year old collage bound girl that I used to babysit who has found out she was pregnant. She was going to have an abortion but I offered to adopt the baby, so she has been trying to decide what she wanted to do. So she called me at about midnight tonight and told me that she has decided to let me adopt her baby. She's going to go to the OB/GYN in a couple of weeks for an ultrasound and she hopes that she'll be able to tell me what she's having. I'm so excited! Her mother has a friend who is an adoption attorney and he's going to handle it for us and they said they will pay for it so I've just got to prepare for the baby now. I'm hoping it's a girl so I can use some of Alice's baby clothes.

So, now that we know we're doing this, does anyone have any advice for me?

Answer Question
 
Razzle_Dazzle1

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 4:56 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • How exciting! Congratulations! Hope all goes well for everyone concerned. *hugs*
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 5:15 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Make sure to have your homestudy done. Be prepared for the young woman to be very emotional. She may change her mind, that is a heartbreak you may have to prepare for. I don't want to be a downer but it is a reality. I hope all goes well and that the baby is a healthy one. Good luck and many blessings. Adoption is the best gift a woman can give. You are a lucky woman for this young lady to have chosen you to entrust her child with.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:16 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Yay Congrats!!! If only all adoptions were so seamlessly prepared! As far as advice, stay positive but expect bumps in the road.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 5:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • We have already discussed that, if she decides before the baby is born that she wants the baby herself then that's fine, but, after the papers are signed and everything is official, she isn't going to come back in five years and decide she wants the baby back. I'm not going to put myself or my kids through that. She has agreed to that.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 5:57 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Im wonder how do people do it my advice is pray ... If this young lady is offering you her child and she is only a child herself how do you feel about that?.. its a happy thing to think of having a kute pretty or handsome lil baby for yourself.. you have to prepare more then just for that moment .. when they get older and they ask you the question of why was I adopted what is your answer??.. I had alot of family and exs that were adopted including my mother and alot of them once they find out go A wall that why I say pray.. other then that congrads and Im pretty sure by the way you sound your going to be great..
    MissCheare

    Answer by MissCheare at 7:08 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I am just so glad this young girl did not decide on abortion. Life is so precious. My advice to you is to be open and honest with her. To respect her regardless of what her decision may be in the end. (as I am sure you will). Just be there for her. Have you thought about doing an open adoption? I am not sure if this is something the two of you talked about but if not then you should. My son's birthmom receives pictures and updates. Also she can visit him when she likes. We have met with his biological great grandma and took pictures of the family. For us, this was such an emotional and special day. We are very blessed and are thankful that our son's birthmom is still a part of our lives. We feel this is not only important to us,but for our son. Adoption has touched our lives more then words can ever say. If ever you need a friend or just someone to listen you can message me.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:15 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • They are actually moving to New York where the birth mom is going to collage and her mother is following. I am going to go up there a couple of weeks before the baby is born so I can be there with her and take the baby home with me. We're still working out the little details.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 8:13 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • One more thought I hope you don't mind. How about the father of the baby? Is he in agreement with adoption? That is something of course that is very important as he will have his rights.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:36 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • He doesn't want anything to do with the baby. She told him that she was thinking about giving me the baby and he said that he'd sign anything she wanted him to sign.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 8:49 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • My advice is to take things slow, one step at a time. Learn as much as you can about an adoptee's life and be mindful of what the bio mom is going through or will go through (even if she is in denile now). What wonderful news! I wish you the best.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 10:37 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

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