Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How can I do this?

Isn't it worse if you DON'T want to let your teen hang out with a particular girl AND forbid it rather than saying IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA AND EXPLAIN WHY? This girl is friends with other girls that my daughter is friends with and I don't want things to backfire and she ends up with no friends. How can I do this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • If you forbid it, it will happen. Teens love to rebel.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:54 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Well I think in my opinion its time for your DD to take a lil fall if you don't wanna step in.. She will complain but learn no matter what now if you fear for her life you must step in but other then that shes gonna do what she wants regaurdless to what you say unless you put your foot down real hard and whether she lose friends or not she will one day thank you for it .. tough love .MajesticLady..
    MissCheare

    Answer by MissCheare at 9:55 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Just explains your concerns - tell you that YOU are her parent and are only looking out for her best interests and then put your foot down on what you feel is going to keep her safe in the end! She'll learn to understand and accept where her Mom is coming from!
    isismoon3

    Answer by isismoon3 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • you can only hope that she listened to what you said to her and will think about it.long and hard. and if she does what she wants and goes against your wishes and fails with her friends, then don't say" I told you so".. Just try to help her with the situation
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:27 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Talk to her and tell her whats on your mind.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 10:37 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • it dpends on WHY I don't like the other girl.
    If I seen the girl into things I didn't want my daughter involved it (like I seen her smoking a cigarette or something) I may just say I only want you hanging out with her at our house where I can supervise because I don't like ___ actions that she does and don't really want you hanging out with her unsupervised..

    if it was just that I didn't like the way the girl dressed or something I would explain my distaste, but it is what it is and I would just monitor my kids activities to make sure she didn't dress as such etc.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:51 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • honestly i would explain your feeling about they child and why....then ask that she limit the time with the girl to only when they are in groups....you never know she may only be spending time with the girl because other are.....i say just stay a step back and watch carefully you maybe surprised....

    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:21 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Explain your concerns honestly and openly and then let her make the decision. Teens need to be given opportunites to learn for themselves, make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. You can support her and help her through tough times but she has to be the one to make her own friends. We may not always agree on their choices and usually those unwise choices of friends are the friendships that don't last.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:59 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I have done this before, me saying to my daughter your not allowed to hang out with so and so. It did not matter at all what I said , my daughter did what she wanted to do. When something did go wrong, I couldn't help but say this is why I did not want you to hang out with her. Eventually she got the point but only after a bunch of drama and a whole lot of tears.
    cheryl887

    Answer by cheryl887 at 5:01 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN