Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

Ive done something awful :( adult content

i told my husband to get out the other day when i found out a secret he's been keeping from me for over 2 years regarding our 2 year old daughter's health. he was responsible for her injury and lied to me about it. ive been spending the past few days racking my brain and figuring out the next step. well, last night i had some friends over. one of them had her daughter here and our daughters were having a sleepover. then there was my best guy friend of 10 years, and his friend who i've known for about 2 years. the girl friend of mine told me that her husband told her (our husbands are good friends) that not too long ago they were at a bar together, my husband got head from some girl and then had a friend take him to another girl's house to get laid. i didn't find this highly unbelievable since he cheated emotionally before. well, last night we all got drunk and i ended up sleeping with the guy i've known for 2 years. i thought i would feel justified in some way for all the hurt my husband has caused me, but this morning i feel awful. i feel first of all like a slut and second like i should tell my husband. although i don't owe him shit since he's hurt me and now recently i'm finding out he hurt my child too. he's suppose to be coming to get his stuff either today or tomorrow and i have this overwhelming urge to tell him and get it off my chest. idk what to do i feel so disgusting about myself.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Babe that man doesnt deserve a damn thing from you except divorce papers!! I'm not one to condone cheating but he iis ttrash (I'm sorry) you feel bad bacause you're not used to that behavior from yourself. Your beating yourself up and he doesn't deserve an apology.
    sugamama3

    Answer by sugamama3 at 11:51 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I would tell him how badly he hurt you and admit that you found out he was unfaithful and that you aren't perfect either and made a mistake. Then, I would help him pack and move his crap. lol. So sorry you are going through all this, I know it must be very difficult.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 11:48 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I honestly understand what u went through with the whole husband keeping stuff a secret, my husband was doing it for 8 years.
    I don't know if u should tell him or not but if u don't, he will find out evently. Its up to you and what how u feel about telling him.
    susaninman

    Answer by susaninman at 11:49 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I'm sure your husband did not feel like a slut when he cheated on you. Why should you?

    I know two wrongs don't make a right. But, don't feel so guilty. It won't do anything to help your situation. You feel disgusting because you choose to feel that way. Look at it from a different point of view. You're now a single woman, you were drunk & you had a wild night. Your husband sounds like a dick anyway & not someone i'd want to be with personally. I'd be happy that i had some good sex since i probably wouldn't have it in a while considering i'd be divorcing my ass of a husband.

    I would tell him...of course i would. I might even rub it in his face, but that is just me....i would be very bitter if i found out he cheated.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:01 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • If you feel the need to tell him, do it. Explain that you heard all about him at the bar, you got a little out of control and ended up sleeping with someone. Also, let him know that you aren't telling him for him, you just needed to get it off your chest.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:47 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Telling won't make you feel better and only make him feel like better about what he had done to you. It would be different if he confessed his sins to you but he didn't. I don't know the details but I wouldn't feel guilty about hurting someone who hurt my baby and I hope you keep your children from him and safe. Just my opinion though.
    CarrienKansas

    Answer by CarrienKansas at 11:52 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't tell him. What you did was not good, but I wouldn't beat myself up over, I just wouldn't let it happen again. As for your husband he would have to stay gone. Between hurting your baby and cheating he would be divorced.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 12:02 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • personally and this is just me i wouldnt give him the gratification that it hurt you cause that seems to be what he wanted, and it wouldnt bother me by telling him. you told him to get out because he hurt your child, and he made the first move by having some chick give him head and then go to someone elses house just to get laid. he dont sound much of a winner and you did just what any other woman out there would do, you did it back. and i dont care what women says they wouldnt do the same because they would or at least i would. go ahead and tell him but do it for yourself dont do anything to please him. and i wouldnt call yourself a slut or anything nasty like that your human we all do the samethings all women do. its nature. dont worry it will be ok i'm sure your a strong independent woman and can handle whatever he has to say!
    trish201

    Answer by trish201 at 12:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't tell him, sounds like he'd just use it against you. I'd leave him behind and try to move on.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:49 AM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I agree with everyone lese who has said this, Screw him! He hurt your child and cheated on you. Dont feel bad and be proud
    sunsetbeach81

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 10:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN