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Would you consider this using your child as a PAWN?

Not allowing your inlaws to see your kids bc Of they way the treat you ..and your husband? my inlaws are telling the whole family we using our kids as pawns bc we have pushed them out of our life. BC they cant be civil with us

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • Yeah my ex husband told me the same thing. If you can't be a decent human being, you can't see my kid.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:18 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • but thats different emmy your the mom not the grandma

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Well...sort of, but you have every right to refuse any kind of visiting righs if your in-laws won't treat you with any descency. So call it collateral.

    Answer by Imogine at 1:20 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I don't know the whole story so it is hard to say. I will say this..a few years ago my MIL got mad and my DH and I. When it first happened I sent her an invite to the kids birthday party, a card for mothers day, a birthday card and I sent her Xmass gifts. She went a whole year not talking to us and it continued for a long time. After 2 1/2 years she called my son, while I was at work, and asked him if she could take him to the zoo. He said "well did you talk to my mom." I was so proud of him and when I talked to her I said "If you can fix things with your son I will be more then happy to let you see the kids." It took another 2 years before my DH and his mom talked. Now she sees my kids although they don't have a great relationship with her.

    So I think you just have to do what feels right to you. Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • im just afraid they will talk shit on me the whole time.. bc they enjoy bad mouthing me

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Let em! Fuck em!

    Answer by Imogine at 1:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • also mil hates me and I thinks she see me in my son.. She overly tries to say the doesnt look like me.. YET EVER OTHER PERSON says my son is boy verison of me.. LOL. My son has a strong personality as do I.. And the other day my mil you know your ds is they way he is bc of you.. WTF did that mean I dont know.. thank you I guess

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Pawn or not, if you can't keep a civil tongue in your head, you don't get to interact with my kids.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I did the same for almost 2 years from my inlaws. They tried to tell me how to parent my baby and my FIL tried to tell me I need to grow up. When I act way more mature then all them put together! Also they are racist (using the n word and talking about Mexicans). I remember my FIL once stepped into my face and acted like he wanted to fight with me while I had my 3 month old in my arms. All because I was on my cell with my mom while he was barking at my dh!! They didn't respect me so I refused to have my son around them until they learned to not smoke pot around my children and accept the fact that my baby and I are African American and Mexican. Now I tolerate them once every few months.


    Answer by momavanessa at 1:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Yes. I don't like my SO's mom very much, but I don't keep my dd from seeing her. I don't have to have a relationship with her, but I feel it's important for my child to know who her grandmother is.

    Answer by Fallaya at 1:58 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

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