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My dad told me weeks ago that my older sister has skin cancer. I called her and left a message that I was praying for her,she never called me. She is avoiding me! I have had cancer and I did not push anyone away! I wanted my family close all the time! I don't want to be pushy,but I don't know what to do!


Asked by dancer at 5:46 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Health

Level 27 (31,218 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • just let her handle things her way let her know you miss her and understand what she is going through and that you are available.

    Answer by gottalovemal at 5:58 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Everyone deals with things differently, leave her alone and I'm sure she will come around, she is just trying to deal with it in her own way.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 5:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Just let her come to you, if she wants. We all have different ways of dealing with things and she just might need her space.

    Answer by Melbornj at 5:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • People cope with things differently. When I had a miscarriage, I didn't tell anyone in my family that I had been pregnant because I didn't want to talk about it, at all. When I was diagnosed with my blood disorder, I was pregnant and so scared. I was going myself injections every 12 hours until the end of my pregnancy, but I hid all of the bruises (Heparin bursts all the capillaries and makes huge black bruises) because I didn't want to talk about it. Now, after the danger has passed, I have no trouble talking about it. Your sister just might not be ready yet. She might be processing it still herself. Probably the best thing you can do is just to let her know you're thinking of her and you are there for her. Maybe drop an "I love you" card in the mail and just write in it that you are there for her in any way she needs you. Hopefully she'll be ready to talk soon.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 5:52 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I'm really sorry to hear that you're family is going through this. It sounds like she is shutting down and having a hard time dealing. Just keep letting her know that you are there for her and hopefully she will be ready to talk soon. Maybe you could send her a card letting her know you are supporting her and something that you did or read that helped you when you had cancer? Perhaps a support group that was helpful to you or a book that someone gave you. Everyone reacts so differently to difficult news, so it's really hard sometimes to know how to help someone that has an opposite reaction to your own. I hope she'll open up to you soon!

    Answer by maxava at 5:53 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • She isn't you, she needs to deal with things in her own way. Be there but be kind and gentle. I'm more like your sister, I don't like having a lot of people around holding my hand when I'm dealing with a difficult situation. It doesn't mean I never want to talk about what I'm dealing with, but I need time to process it first. Continue to call your sister like you always would have but don't push her if she's not ready to talk.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:56 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Keep trying, gently. Send her thoughtful little cards in snail mail, rather than phone messages. Send her a flower, maybe. I'm sure she's in shock. She will need you soon. I'm so sorry for your suffering! Keep praying, and encouraging her. Some people have found it helpful to go on a raw food diet to treat their cancer.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 5:52 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Give her time

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Ladies-thank u all for your comforting words. the card is a great idea!

    Comment by dancer (original poster) at 5:55 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I know and I get all that,but,I want to be there and it is hard sitting on the sidelines while she is fighting the fight for her life!!

    Comment by dancer (original poster) at 6:12 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

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