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I need help

I love my kids very much, but I hate to admit this, especially on this site; I need more patience I find myself getting worked up over small things yelling at them all the time. I grew up in a "yelling" family and I hated it and I don't want my kids to go through the same things I did. I would seek out anger management but I can't afford it. What are some ways other then walking away to help me with my anger issues

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • if u can get medication, ask ur doc about lamotrigine. if u want to try an herbal supplement, try lemon balm. research it. i took it in capsule form until i got insurance. it works very well
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 6:49 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • You aren't alone. I have to give myself timeouts. I usually lock myself in my room and put on headphones so I can't hear them outside the door hollering for me. DH is good about rounding them up and giving me a break.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I dont think they are anger issues exactly. We tend to raise our own kids the way we were raised. Such as being raised in a yelling environment....its what you know so its what you do. I dont think you need anger management classes.....maybe a class that is meant to help you relax and keep your calm such as meditation or yoga. Some thing soothing that helps you refocus and refrain from yelling. If you dont have the money for classes, maybe you can buy a self how to book or movie so you can try to learn at home when you have the time. When you realize you are getting to the point of yelling try to take a few deep breaths and count to 5 to help you refocus and calm down so you can speak calmly and quietly. Its worth a shot right? Hope this helps. Either way I dont think you have anger issues.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 6:53 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I get the same way. We all just need a break once in awhile. Try to talk to your doctor and see if there is anything you can take.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 6:53 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Everyone needs a break from tine to time. I have to have a good cry every few months.
    Try to schedule regual breaks, once a month or every two weeks.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 6:58 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I don't think you need anger management classes OR medication. Just relax. Give yourself timeouts if you feel you need them, but you've already recognized that there's a "problem". It's a problem only because it's something you want to change about the family dynamic. So work on it. Gradually and in small ways, just focus on your love for your kids, start you day with simple goals like "make them laugh at least once before lunch time." And when you get flustered and feel like yelling, just take a deep breath and try to redirect your kids instead. Read up on "attachment parenting" and "parenting with kindness". You've already done the biggest part of the job by making the decision that it's something you want to change. I agree with SMG1120. It's easy to get caught up in parenting strategies we grew up with, and you are more vulnerable when you are stressed and/or tired. So make sure you are getting enough sleep.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 6:59 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I grew up in that kind of environment, too. It's hard not to yell, and at times I've found myself acting just like my mother. Shudder.

    For me, I've noticed that just being conscious of the fact that I don't want to be like that stops me from yelling. Once I start getting mad, I think about how my mom used to yell at us, or yell at my dad, or yell at the grocery store... that shuts me up pretty quickly. Maybe that'll help? O_O
    daughter_judi

    Answer by daughter_judi at 7:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • My hubby grew up in a house where his mom yelled all the time at the kids and her husband. I didn't but my husband has made progress about not raising his voice at me so it's just a process. I raise my voice at my 3 year old sometimes to get his attention and feel like I lose my temper sometimes too much and I am usually a pretty patient person but parenting is stressful so as long as you are aware and working on it I'm sure you'll make great progress. Sometimes everyone loses it so don't beat yourself up too much :)
    LuLuMom6

    Answer by LuLuMom6 at 11:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2011


  • Get this from the library.


    :-)

    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 2:45 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • doulala

    Answer by doulala at 2:47 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

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