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Is this wrong?

Im a Christian and mother of two. Obviously, I have been extremely blessed and I know this, so don't get me wrong in my post. Just recently had a m/c and hubby and I will try again soon. When I got pregnant with baby 3, I was worried because this could be my last time time, seeing it took a while to convince my hubby for #3. I feel guilty even saying that but I enjoy pregnancy and having my babies and I come from a big family. Some I was a little girl my dream was o be married and have lots of babies. It makes my heart sad to think i may never get to do it again. Is it wrong to feel this way and to ask my husband even though he is unsure and kinda against it. I feel bad but it's how I feel....


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (12)
  • It's not wrong to ask, but it would be wrong to trick him into it if he says 'no'.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Ask your hubby--you two have to be in agreement. Good Luck! I only have one child from my first marriage, my current hubby and I want one but I'm thinking after trying as long as we have, it's not in the cards.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:45 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • You need to elaborate on why he is not sure. Are there financial considerations? Can the new child get enough attention given the current size of the family?

    Answer by blueberry1 at 8:49 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • It is certainly not wrong to want it or bring it up to your husband. Your needs are equal to his...but just that...equal. You need two "yes votes" on something like this.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:55 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • We have two girl. Are finacials are just fine. He is worried we won't have a life. I would never trick him but I do bring it up because it's on my mind and is a big soft spot for me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:56 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Why does he not want more? I agree with the PPs, no tricks. No nagging (usually counter-productive). Agree or it will be an issue forever "well, you wanted..."

    If it's because he's worried financially, you can draw up a budget, start saving some money, perhaps get another job part-time or something to get rid of those worries. You or he might want to consider another job or some training. You have time. Rational will win the day there.

    If he is worried that he won't have the time to give each child individual time, that's a little tricky, because it does have an effect. You can bring him around other big families, and he can see how the kids support each other, not just parents to kids- different. Your kids would have to do the same activities-- fewer sports/crafts and more family together-stuff. He may change his mind

    If it's his age or he doesn't want X kids because of overpopulation or whatever, that's tough.

    Good luck

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Well, "having a life". That's tough. If he wants to go out and you have the cash, by all means, do it! Make a weekly date night. Your older kids can help monitor babysitters so you don't worry so much about having them with the young ones. Make sure you also get out weekly for hobbies and friend stuff.

    If it's something else he wants, we need to know what. Camping/hiking is tough around the 1-3 age range, but can be done. Travelling is quite expensive with lots of kids (just paid for 5 RT tickets x-country myself!), unless he's willing to drive instead of fly for many years.

    Having people over is hard, but you can do it later at night.

    It can be done. It's hard though, I'll be the first to admit it. When you're in the midst, it can seem overwhelming. Sometimes it's best to get your high-priority problem out, look at it kind of from the outside, ask around and figure out how it can be done

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:11 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Not wrong to still feel like you want more...many feel that way especially when its nearing the end of the time they'll be doing pregnancies. They start feeling regrets, did I have all the kids I really wanted, etc.

    However, you have to talk to your husband and you all have to come to a conclusion together and stick to it. You cant force him or trick him...that will just harm your marriage.


    Answer by Amaranth361 at 10:01 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by mrsziemann at 1:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • My question for you is this... What does GOD want for your family. It is common for FEAR to enter in and hold back expanding a family.
    Your husband and you need to be in agreement and to trust that GOD knows what is best for your family. If he believes that you will not have a life then I believe he is believing a lie. I think you will have a life.. a precious amazing life with 3 children. Sure it will be busy, sure it will be hectic yet God can help you through all this. I do hope your husband can look at this from God's perspective not his own and see what HE sees. It would be to your greater advantage if both of you go to God and ask Him to show you His perspective on this! .

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 10:55 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

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