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does anyone else feel like a single mom due to her husbands depression?

I'm tired of being the only one that does anything with the kids. I go to their events alone and the list goes on and on. I feel I only exist to keep the house clean and keep the fridge stocked and keep the t.p on the roll. I have no emotional support from my husband. He's always depressed. I have tried EVERYTHING to make him happy and nothing works. I feel like me and the kids have our lives and he has his. Every once in a while our paths connect it's just not anything other than like watching a movie. When I try to go out with him I always regret it. I want attention from him so bad. I've never cheated on him. I can see that women don't just cheat for the sex but just to have someone be nice to them and notice them. I want a break so bad. I never even got a day off when I came home from the hospital with any of our kids. Does anyone else feel similar?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Yep. I am dealing with the same thing,so I finally got fed up today and Im moving on. I need somene less immature and selfish. I want stability and to be secure. I've been listening to Jessica Simpsons song Remember That and it helps,lol. I am just done with immaturity and his drama. I feel alone, and its not fair.
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 1:49 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • have you tried taking to a dr or phsycologist?
    depression is a major thing and he may need meds for it before he gets better
    also find YOURSELF a support group
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 2:17 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I had a friend with a depressed husband, he has other issues too. She was in the position of being defined as married/living as an only parent, at times the only one in the house working with the stress of his issues having a horrid effect on her & more sadly their son. The boy is now 16, has no relationship with the father. Because of her issues & putting up with his non involvement in their marriage for 22 years or being a father in ANY way the household is dysfunctional on every level A-Z. She started acting like the husband & when THAT happened the boy had no supervision & no parents. Sad, what I witnessed. They are miserable people with self-inflicted conflict & negative attitudes about everything. The saddest part is what it has done to the boy. It is hard to have any hope for that boy to be an accomplished young man. Trouble in school, running the roads way after dark, lying to & disrespecting elders, etc..

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 5:55 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • What does his doctor say?
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:49 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • He's very selfish. He wasn't like this when we were dating. It's not like I didn't know him either. We've been friends since I was ten years old. I keep hoping things will get better. Instead time goes by and I'm just getting older. I really do love him and we have four kids so leaving him would be awfull. I know I could find someone I was actually compatable with that was nice to me I just know that I would never love them like I love my husband. Either way I work it out in my head with the kids it seems bad. I don't like the example he is to them right now but divorce would be devastating. I just wish somehow he could snap out of it and see how good he has it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I have talked my husband into going to the doctor several times. He has tried different meds but they only have a temporary effect and then things get way worse. Like I'm afraid to leave him alone. I know he loves me and our kids as much as he is capable of loving someone. I just wish it was more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I am in the same situation as well. My husband refuses medication. I have finally gotten myself a counselor and we are working together to get my life back with or without him. It is a devastating illness. I have several things that may empower you. First, get onto www.DepressionFallout.com great amazing website and support. The second is get a book that is called How to Love a Porcupine by John Lund. Then get a counselor. You need a third party to help you distinguish what is real and what is in your control and what is out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I think I am the poster that submitted the last entry. The book was How to HUG a Porcupine not Love. Happy to report my husband is on meds now, Dr. Lund's book is a marriage saver. Also I have made an appointment for my husband to see a psychiatrist. He is on the waiting list to see one of the best. He doesn't know this. But when his appointment comes up and I tell him that he has been on the waiting list for X amount of time I will make up something to get him there. By that time he would be using the meds and they will have plateau by then and then another depressive episode will be taking place and then I can convince him he needs more than a regular doctor. The meds didn't work for my husband after a while too that is why he stopped taking them but through investigation they need to up the dosage or change meds around. It is sorta like ritalin for ADHD kids. It is tricky to get their meds right and it takes time. Good luc
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

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