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My fiance's an asshole, what do i do?

if i go into detail i may get mad so lets just say he's the biggest ass in the world, if you could please imagine so i don't have to go into detail. why do i love a jerk? why!? i really wish i did not! read my other questions for details because getting into the nitty gritty will just make me ball my eyes out. i don't think i want to marry him, well i know it, but i do still want to date him, does that even makes sense!? my mom said just let it happen naturally dont push him away just stop caring so much about the relationship. is life too short to deal with a narcissist asshole even tho you love the guy deeply even for his faults? i don't expect to meet a perfect guy, but at least a nice one ya know? but the problem is...i could never fall in love with anyone else if i keep loving my fiance. how do i stop loving him?? we broke up for a year once, i was happy about it but i still loved him and dreamt about him daily.

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lizzybee44

Asked by lizzybee44 at 9:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You need to decide you deserve more than an ass.
    blueberry1

    Answer by blueberry1 at 9:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I think you should give yourself a break to see if he is really what you want
    lorettalw

    Answer by lorettalw at 9:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • i agree ^.^
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 9:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Short answer: LEAVE. Do it now and don't look back. Think of it like pulling a splinter out of your finger: it will hurt when you do it and for a little while after, but you're saving your life from a huge nasty infection down the road, if you leave it there.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • Think about what you want from a partner emotionally, and then look at what he has to offer. Get your support system in place...friends, family, co-workers...and then go out with the idea of being alone for a while.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:44 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • My ex will always have a special place in my heart however I am in love with my husband. You can love someone without being in love with them
    gsae

    Answer by gsae at 11:49 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • OK I read your other posts. He is a total asshole. Do you feel like you won't ever meet someone special who really loves you? A man where, when you hit the drive thru for food and your order is missing, will turn around and get your order? Don't you want a man who comes home to you every night and not his idiot buddies? Do you feel like you are stuck in a rut? Ruts are really hard to get out of but it's possible. I left my loser ex and I found an awesome man. For ME, it took 12 years to find the right guy after that. But you have to be comfortable with who you are, take shit from nobody, and make lots of friends to keep you busy so you don't find yourself thinking, gee, I love him and miss him.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:12 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I stopped reading at I don't want to marry him but I want to date him and no I didn't read your other posts because if you can post and say that you don't want to marry him then that is your answer and why are you on here asking for help and opinions. Take it or leave it. He's a jerk, u don't want to marry him so leave him! Period!... You're so unhappy...trust me you'll me happier when you move on. :)
    YellowBaby

    Answer by YellowBaby at 12:25 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Man up and move on! Why do you need others to validate what you already know?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:29 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I agree with emmyandlisa. I did not read your other posts, but if you are having second thoughts about marrying him, by all means let him know your feelings and call off the engagement. Keep busy with your own friends, family, and interests. It's not a crime to have thoughts and dreams about him, but convince yourself that you are worth more than second-class. Find someone to talk to, to share your emotions with. Allow yourself to have "ups" and "downs"; take time to re-assess what you want in a relationship and in life, in general. If you become too overwhelmed, seek advice and help from a professional. We don't always choose whom we fall in love with; it just happens. You can't control or change how someone else acts and feels, but you can choose how you react to him. Make a decision based on what's good for you. Stick to your decision, even if it means leaving him. Let him come to you; as a woman, you're worth it
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:38 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

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