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Traveling Out Of Country w/out kids...

Ok so... I just recently decided I'd love to take a trip in the next 7-12 months to Amsterdam. I've never been out of the country, and have dreams of traveling several places around the world. I have a 2yr old & a 3yr old. So when I brought this idea up for a little mini vacation (3 nights) to my fiance, he told me he is NOT interested & would never leave the country, he doesn't want to fly, he thinks it's stupid, etc,etc. So I eventually, after trying to convince him to go, said ok, well then I guess I will have to find a few good friends to join me...Then he goes on to say, if I go he won't stay in this relationship anymore : / Umm...I'm sorry but, in my opinion that is the dumbest, childish thing I've ever heard. Really? Because I want to travel, take a lil brake (which I NEVER do, I am home 24/7) something is wrong with me? What are y'alls opinion on that? Am I missing something? So after a while of discussing this, he goes on to tell me, MOTHERS DO NOT TRAVEL, ESPECIALLY OUT OF THE COUNTRY with children the same age as ours, and that I need to wait until they are MUCH older, like 13+... So he's now making it, along with my mother, who has now jumped on the subject as well..seem like if I want to travel out of the country that I am a BAD mother... Sorry...I just need some input... Perhaps words from mothers who DO travel, or have traveled w/ out their little ones... I just don't understand why now this is such a big deal in my house & w/ my mother...

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XLiveLoveLaughX

Asked by XLiveLoveLaughX at 11:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2011 in Travel

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think everyone's entitled to some time without their children. Why can't he stay home and watch them for a few days while you go get cultured with a few friends? I'm sorry but your fiance sounds a bit like a control freak.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 11:44 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • I have to say I haven't traveled out of the country since I've had my son, but its because I can't afford it. If i was to travel I would do so if I had a reliable person to leave my children with, and then I would give them authorization to seek medical care for my children if needed, have a way for them to always reach me etc.

    3 days really isn't that much time, and its not like you are going to Iraq or some dangerous country(like mexico) for vacation. I have traveled in the states without my son and he has stayed with my mother, and I have been gone up to a week.

    I don't really see the problem unless A. you can't realistically afford it B. your children are sick or have some medical condition that could land them in the hospital at anytime. C. you were going to a more dangerous country(I don't consider Amsterdam to be dangerous.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • tsk tskgood thing he is only your fiance... i see misery in your future!!!!! he will not change after getting married he will only get worse. he is a control freak and he sounds like the kind of man who wants to keep the woman bare foot and pregnant.

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 1:35 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • My husband and I both traveled extensively all over the world when our first four kids were little, but we took them with us. I think if this is something you want to do without the children, that's totally your perogarive and your fiance and mother have no business telling you you should or shouldn't.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 1:42 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Time for a trip and a new guy in your life.
    Keksie

    Answer by Keksie at 8:31 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • So he doesn't ever want to travel and would leave if you do? No offense, but I think you have bigger issues than whether you should leave your kids with family at this age or not. If we had family in the area, you'd better believe my husband and I would take a weekend trip!
    katiemomNY

    Answer by katiemomNY at 10:02 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • my personal opinion is my child dont go,I dont go
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 11:44 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Your guy sounds pretty controlling. If you can afford the trip and have a reliable person to watch your kids I don't see anything wrong in going.
    CometGirl

    Answer by CometGirl at 9:02 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • At those ages, we only traveled with our kids. Of course, my husband realizes that in order to get around you often times have to fly- refusing to fly really limits where you will go. I would not be in a relationship who refused to fly or who wanted to control what I did.

    Sisteract

    Answer by Sisteract at 6:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • For me personally it doesn't seem to make a difference if you are in the country or out of the country. (Again, with safety disclaimers, but that could as easily be "don't vacation in Camden" as "don't vacation in Libya")

    Would it be fine if you and your friends were spending the same amount of money on a trip for three days to Vegas? Or New York? Or to visit your senator and see the memorials and museums in Washington DC?

    Leaving the country doesn't sound like the real issue. If it IS the only issue... I really don't understand it.
    KateDinVA

    Answer by KateDinVA at 11:48 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

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