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How do you get past the horrible creeped out feeling while breastfeeding?

I think it's because I was sexually abused as a child and it involved my breasts but I never could shake the feeling with my oldest and I've done so much therapy already and it hasn't helped at all. I jsut can never shake the creepy kind of shameful feeling like I don't have control over what happens to my body parts.

Did anybody else deal with this? and is it just hopeless to try with future kids? What worked for you? Please nobody else say that you just have to push past it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Jul. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Sorry; to me it's a lovely bonding cuddle time. No creepiness at all. Perhaps breastfeeding is just not for you. I don't mean to say you shouldn't try - I'm a strong advocate of Breastfeeding, but if it really creeps you out, it could be damaging to your relationship with your baby. If you really have tried and had therapy and you just can't get past it, then perhaps you should consider the alternative.

    Answer by judimary at 2:27 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Have you ever tried pumping and giving the baby milk in the bottle?
    I have never had either of those experiences so I don't know what help I can be other than to say try pumping and see how that feels.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 2:28 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I have a really high lactase level the extra steps to keep it good would make pumping extremely impractical.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:33 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • hope this helps:

    Breastfeeding and the Sexual Abuse Survivor by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, from Breastfeeding Abstracts, May 1998, Volume 17, Number 4, pp. 27-28.

    Breastfeeding and the Sexual Abuse Survivor by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, from Leaven, Vol. 33 No. 2, April-May 1997, p. 27.


    Answer by doulala at 3:06 AM on Jul. 10, 2011


    Thoughts on how sexual abuse affects breastfeeding by Kathy Kuhn, IBCLC

    The Long Shadow: Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., IBCLC. Chapter from: The hidden feelings of motherhood: Coping with mothering stress, depression and burnout. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2001.



    Answer by doulala at 3:06 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Im so sorry u had to go through something like that- i had something similar happen to me as a preteen i but it wasnt with breasts but i still felt funny when i started breastfeeding my youngest ( who is my only ebf experience) it was very weird at first but now its nothing- i was able to push through it because i was determined to not let what happened define my parenting. but that doesnt mean it is or will be thee same for u- im sorry but if u cant breastfeed comfortably then i say dont stress yourself out your baby will be perfectly fine and healthy if u choose to go a different route good luck momma and keep ur head up!

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 3:17 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I was sexually abused as well and there has been times where I just don't want my breasts to be touched at all. I guess for me how I have overcome these issues was realizing that I could continue to allow myself to be victimized or I could allow myself to stop letting my past abuser to victimize me by living my life.

    I understand that if feels like your are loosing control of your body. The more you look at it as giving up control, the more you'll continue to feel this way. But in reality what you are doing is taking control of your health, your child's health, and using your body to do something amazing.

    If you would like to PM me I'd be glad to be a line of support. I'll be honest, I don't have it all together. I still struggle with Sexual abuse issues. But I refuse to allow those feelings to control my life, I refuse to give that man any more of my life. Don't allow your abuser to take anything else from you.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:19 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I was sexually abused as a child, and I nursed my kids. I have to admit that it didn't bother me, but I can see where, from how you described it, it would be a problem. Maybe it could help if you try to look at it like this --- Instead of you not having control of your body when you're nursing, this is the exact opposite! This is you having complete control over your body, and you, choosing to use it for what nature intended - to feed your baby. This is you, taking control of your life, and saying that while the person who abused you was able to victimize you and take away your control when you were a child, you are now an adult, and you REFUSE to allow them to continue to victimize you as an adult, by making you feel uncomfortable with nursing if you want to!

    (((HUGS))) and good luck! I hope that this helps some!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:19 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • To clarify - when I say it didn't bother me - I mean the nursing didn't bother me, not the abuse....

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:22 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • It sounds like you may be suffering D-Mer. Read about it HERE


    Answer by Queenie_Mab at 5:55 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

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