Boyfriend wont have sex with me. Our relationship seems fine... fights here and there, but he has NO sexual appetite. :( Its really hurting my self esteem. I try talking to him about it, and he says the more I bring it up the more sexual anxiety he gets... so i dont say anything, and he just doesnt give it to me... and the cycle gets worse and worse. any advice?Answer Question
Answer by gdiamante at 2:11 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:12 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
I wouldn't threaten him with the "Tell him not going is NOT an option if he wants to stay with you.". It MIGHT scare him and make him more anxious and make things worse. DO show concern and be adamant that he go. How would you feel if he threatened to leave you for lack of sex drive?
Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:14 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
Answer by NightOwlMama at 4:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
Answer by NightOwlMama at 4:37 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
Answer by BabyBeans0506 at 4:53 AM on Dec. 17, 2008
Ah. I know this situation well. My husband has always been the shy, reserved type who would easily become anxious about sex for all sorts of reasons. I used to be the one to get things going... petting his ego, so to speak. I did everything kinky imaginable to keep things lively. But now that we have a baby, he feels stressed and tired a lot (well, so do I) and he blames our lack of sex on that. However, I'm also 40 lbs heavier now than before the baby and I know that he's not too crazy about that... So, I'm insecure and I don't make any moves and he, at the very least, feels like it's never a good time. So, we're dead in the water. I'm not sure what the next step is. We're fighting about it a lot now. It's very stressful. I wish he would just get some balls and make a move on me... Sorry, I don't have any answers. Just commiserating.
Answer by CluelessCarrie at 5:12 AM on Dec. 17, 2008