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2 Bumps

If you and a friend...

If you and a friend had a little argument, and they had already made one playdate incredibly awkward because they "can't put on a happy face," would you be in a hurry to schedule another?

My friend and I had a bit of a falling out. So I told her we should maybe just take a week off from our regular playdate to cool off and hopefully start again the week after. She completely ignored me at out last playdate, just me her and our kids. She had me walking around with one of her twins (they are just starting to walk) and wouldn't talk or even look at me. It was so awkward! And she said she just can't pretend to be happy when she isn't, so WHY would she be wanting to plan another so soon? Anyway, she got mad that I suggested not having one this week. It isn't like I told her I never wanted to see or talk to her again! I just said, maybe we should take a week off to cool down and breath!!!

Answer Question
 
ILoveCade

Asked by ILoveCade at 5:32 AM on Jul. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,476 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • scissorshe sounds really immature- i would just cut off all contact with her, but thats just me though. i am very straight forward and i have no tolerance for bs like this. her behavior is so grade school.

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:36 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Well she probably wants to talk it through and work things out, rather than just avoid each other? Maybe?
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 5:44 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • toddler tantrumI figure its all in your hands a good friend is hard to ome pass and they are like family sometimes get mad and don't wanna speak to one another and then you forgive and move forward and just ask for them to not do what ever it may have been again and then if they don't respect your wish cut them off like a cord from a baby of birth..

    MissCheare

    Answer by MissCheare at 5:50 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I don't know. I don't think she is the type to sit down and talk things through. We have been emailing back and forth, I tried talking things out, she just yelled...well email yelled, lol. So I can't imagine she would be able to actually sit and talk if she can't even send a thought out email. At least then you can make sure you write what you really feel. But I really don't know....
    ILoveCade

    Comment by ILoveCade (original poster) at 5:50 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Yeah, maybe an email chat is better than face-to-face. Is it a big thing or just a little tiff?
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 6:10 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I, personally, think it is stupid. She thought I was mad at her, that is how it all started. I had a busy couple weeks. We still had out playdates, but I wasn't able to talk to her as much as she wanted apparently. So she asked if I was mad, I told her no. This was the night before that other playdate, we go to the playdate and she does that. I can obviously tell there is something wrong, but I don't say anything, it is really none of my business, it could have been anything. Finally, after her not saying ANYTHING to me for days, I contacted her about next week and picking a day to get together. I told her I knew she was upset about something but I wasn't sure what. And she came back with telling me she was angry with me for not talking as much as she wanted.......I was just flabbergasted. I mean, she thought I was mad and I told her I wasn't so she got mad.....
    ILoveCade

    Comment by ILoveCade (original poster) at 6:16 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • So then it led to more, I have been having issues with things and some of the things she came at me with were just so outrages I had to say something, so I tried to tell her how I was feeling and what I was thinking. I told her multple times that I could be wrong, I could be taking things the wrong way and I apologized for not giving her what she needed (in the talking department, lol). And that is when I told her maybe we should take a week apart. To cool off. But she came back at me attacking, I mean, guns a blazin! So that was when I started to wonder if I was wrong. She really took offense to me suggesting that week off.
    ILoveCade

    Comment by ILoveCade (original poster) at 6:20 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • She sounds insane and posessive, if she's freaking out this much because you weren't talking as much as she wanted you to. That being said, from her pov she's probably thinking "why get together with someone who's not going to pay me any attention anyway" which is perfectly understandable.
    You did the right thing asking to take some time, and if that makes her not want to talk to you anymore, you are well rid of her.
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 7:08 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • See, that is the thing. I understand what she is saying! And I told her I was sorry. I didn't mean to make her feel ignored or unwanted, but she freaked out! I told her we were both probably seeing things that weren't there, and I felt bad from my side for making things different then they were, but she can't or won't take responsibility for her wrongs. I just needed a few days, and she got mad, that is what got me. We will see I guess. I really believe in people needing space sometimes, so I am gonna take mine and go from there, if she can't respect that I guess she isn't as good a friend as I thought.
    ILoveCade

    Comment by ILoveCade (original poster) at 7:12 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Maybe she has some other things going on in her life and it's easier for her to take it out on you than it is for her to face her real issues? I know that I have been guilty of that in the past.
    I don't know, on the one hand I would be telling her "byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" and on the other hand I would want to go "this can't possibly be all about that, what's really going on with you?"
    For me it would depend on the friend and how well I knew her...
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 7:17 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

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