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Should this stop?

My daughter tells kids what I say about them (like they aren't a good influence on her), they are too fast, dress too sexy, etc. Do your kids do this and well, maybe the truth is good but I don't know that I want her to be saying what my opinions are. Am I wrong?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jul. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, I can understand why you wouldn't want ehr to repeat all you say. You want and need to be frank with her but she ahs to learn to respect confidences too. Talk to ehr about that, that you need to speak honestly with ehr but you have to know you can trust her to protect your reputation. In the meantime, until you can fully trust her, pick your workds more carefully! But don't stop giving her your advice. You do right to worry over your DD. x
    Womamhood

    Answer by Womamhood at 5:02 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Explain to her that you'd appreciate her confidence. It helps establish trust and you expect that of her!
    isismoon3

    Answer by isismoon3 at 9:18 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Of course she's going to bitch to her friends about you. It sounds like she's a teenager? I know I did that when I was a teen. You can't stop her from telling them how you feel. You can explain that you'd like what you say to her to be in confidence, but ultimately, once you say it to her, it's up to her whether or not she decides to share it.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:31 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • My DD who is 5 told the neighbor downstairs that i didn't want her DD up here, WHEN i actually said that on one day No i dont need Kinsey up here today you can go down there to play but no shes not coming up here..

    When she said that I told her that that wasn't what i meant and i explained to her the meaning of why i say that and to not just blurt things out mommy says cause that sounded rude and That's all i have had to deal with so far with her.....Good luck sounds like you have a teenager or almost so she will of course tell her friends
    debbie26

    Answer by debbie26 at 9:43 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Okay stop! don't tell your daughter that her friends are bad for her. She will shut you out and not tell you anything. She will see who they are on her own if you let her.

    Now what you need to do is make sure they come over your home more often so you can keep an eye on all of them. Be friendly so they are not afraid of you. Start talking to them ask them how they are doing. As they open up to you they will come to you if you open yourself to them. But never criticize!!
    With girls you just tell them when they look nice, when they are dressed nice, And with makeup you tell them when you see that they have done something different and look nice, tell how nice they look.
    Talking to teens is like walking on glass you have to be very careful if you want them to open up to you and trust you.
    My kids friends where always at my home and they did all open up to me and let me tell you they did tell me everything!!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:14 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Um, she has to tell the WHY you don't want her hanging with them and, I'm sorry, but she shouldn't have to take the blame when you are the one who has the problems with them not her.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:26 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I wouldn't be saying things in-front of her if you didn't want her to repeat them. t
    Reia631

    Answer by Reia631 at 9:42 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I am at a loss as to why you expected her not to repeat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Some of these kids need a parent advice and they will take from you if you make them feel like you do care.Most of these kids do come from homes were the parents do not care or have time for them.

    From what I have been though with my kids and their friends, they want adult to care and listen to them.

    As your daughter see's that you care she will trust you and open up to you only.

    But you still need rules in your home. Just don't be a B about them. Show them respect and they will give it back.

    Good luck
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:34 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I would not talk about those things with her then. If you don't want her around someone because they really are a bad influence then divert her attention from it, find other ways to be tactful and respectful about it. No matter how bad you think her friends are- they are her friends.
    MommyofTwo331

    Answer by MommyofTwo331 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

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