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How can I get my husband to spend more time with our son?

It seems like my husband spends more time yelling at our son ("don't touch that", "stop it", "sit back down", etc.) that anything else. He does help when I need him, but most of the time he's just...around. I know it's different for most father's to bond as easily with their child as mother's do, and when I talk to him about how I feel he does listen, but I don't have any suggestions on how to help him spend more time. I mean he can take him to the park I guess, but when we're at home in the evenings I can't think of anything I'd like to see him do....advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jul. 10, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • my husband yells alot also and I have to remind him that they are only young once and if he wants to make things better for our boys then what it was for him then he needs to involve himself in different activities and everything with them
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 6:58 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • You could involve him in the bedtime routine in the evenings. He could be the official story reader. :) Sounds small but it will count big.
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 10:39 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • You go out shopping and let dad watch him. He can take him to a baseball game, to the zoo, amusement park, fishing, swimming, to the library, a movie, go for a nature walk. A museum, especially if it's a hands on kids museum. Dad can read to him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:39 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • How old is your son? It sounds like your DH doesn't know much about children, if he yells a lot. He may need to read a book, join a class, or spend time with other dads, so he can learn from their behavior. Do you have married friends with kids, that you can plan some friends and family activities together? This would be one of the best, and easiest ways, because he might learn from others without you having to "teach" him. Guys don't like to acknowledge weakness, and not knowing how to be a dad is a biggy. You and DH should spend one day a week discussing the next week's plans-typically Sun pm. With a calendar, discuss things like work, shopping, errands, doctor visits, then also schedule fun things, like trips to the park, the movies, or whatever. You may need to schedule some whole-family times so your DH can see how you interreact with your son. All of you go to the park, and take turns pushing him on the swing. (Cont)
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 10:46 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • when your DH fusses, say "Why don't you color with him?" or something? Like Why don't you..
    play cars
    play airplane
    Play cowboy (DH is horsey and DS is cowboy)
    play catch with cloth ball
    roll a ball across floor and let DS bring it back

    It sounds as though your guys need some ideas so here is a few!
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 10:50 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Thanks Lorelei, those are great ideas. Our son will be 3 in 2 weeks. The difficult part is that when we do go places with our son he is usually GREAT with him. It just seems like when we are at home just just sits in front of the TV and "couch parents". We have a hard time getting out unless it's the weekend because we both work all day during the week.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:53 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • (cont) I hate how our answers have to be so short!
    Find something that your DH already enjoys - bowling, golf, pool, baseball, whatever. Have him start to teach it to his son. There are 2 yr old pool sharks, and 3 yr old golfers, so almost anything that your DH enjoys he can share. If he doesn't have a suitable hobby to share, help him find one. YMCA offers toddler/preschool swimming lessons where a parent needs to be in the pool with them. Maybe dad and son could have a weekly tradition of going out to breakfast together on Sat morning, so mommy can sleep in one day a week? Be sure to help make this successful. Children have a hard time waiting for the food to arrive. Send along a can of Play Do, and tell your DH to play with his son while waiting for the food to arrive. Tell him to make snakes or alphabet letters with the playdo, or cut it up with the restaurant silverware. He'll regret it if he doesn't spend time with him.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 10:56 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I agree with a lot of these women's suggestions - great ideas ladies!! Having your husband leave the house with your son - just one on one time together will be great. Even just to the grocery store or some mundane errands - my son loves going with me to the post office. LOL

    During the week, maybe he could watch a cartoon or two with your son? Being together on the couch snuggling is always good. They can share a bowl of popcorn...just some scheduled together time at home would work. Or like someone else suggested, have Dad be the official "bedtime story" teller at night for tuck in time. How sweet is that? Can they do a "campout" in the backyard together? Maybe set up a tent? Make smores outside or just lay in some sleeping bags and look at the stars for a while if they don't want to sleep outside...
    Pollymom

    Answer by Pollymom at 12:06 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I had the same problem with my husband. We have a 4 year old girl. For the longest time I think that he thought spending time her meant he'd have to play barbies or dolls but she loves so many different things. So I suggested he play lego's, cars, in the dirt, watch a movie, build some thing, fix something, go swimming, catch bugs, draw or color, ect......these are all things that can be done around the house. He even decided to set up the tent in the basement so they could pretend camp lol. She loves every second of it and he doesnt have to play with dolls :) I had to explain that she doesnt care what they do as long as she is with him she'll be happy and she is. She loves every second that they spend together.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 2:10 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Another suggestion is maybe try and get your son into sports. Maybe try signing him up for t-ball, or soccer. Even swimming lessons this could also be some good activities for the two of them to do together.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 5:47 PM on Jul. 10, 2011