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When to introduce the kids.....

Here's the story... Ive been talking to this person for about a month. Met online (2 weeks of emails back and forth.) Met in person. 1st time -7 hrs talking on the couch w no tv, no music, till 3am. 2nd time- went to his house, he cooked dinner and we watched a movie and talked. 3rd time-last night, watched a movie, talked, fell asleep w each other then he left at 2am. We talk/text everyday. He has no children but has dated someone before that had 1. Idk where it is going, I hope it does go somewhere. We get along very well, I feel like we connect too. We make each other laugh and can have real conversations. We have talked about introducing our dogs LoL

I've never introduced my 2 daughters (1 and 3) to someone that doesn't have kids. How do I go about this? How long should I wait and how do I bring it up? I don't want to confuse my girls and I don't want to "scare him away". But I am a Mom 1st and for most. So shouldn't he see that part of my life too?

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BelloItaliano

Asked by BelloItaliano at 11:00 AM on Jul. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (176 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • This is tricky. You don't want some pervert to marry you just so he can have access to your girls...and you don't want a really nice guy to get away because he's nervous about taking on a ready-made family. I would wait a few weeks, and see if he doesn't bring it up first.

    How old is he? Talk with him some time about how he feels about children. Does he have nieces & nephews? Was he a boy scout? Has he ever interacted with children? Kids are not at their best in a restaurant, so I wouldn't suggest dinner out. When you first introduce him, you might pack a picnic and take everyone to the park. That way, he has something to DO with the girls (push swings) and he isn't anyone threatening to the girls, as you may often see people at the park.

    My daughter has tried some online dating, but has a rule, that she keeps her daughter out of it until there is a real, serious commitment. So far, her daughter hasn't met any of them.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:07 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • One year. I was single with 4 kids and my kids never met my SO until we had been together for one year. Now I will say I took them to the park or something and he would be there and I would say he was just a friend I knew. But that was like 6 months in. My husband knew I had kids when we met in 2002, but did not meet them until 2003.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:12 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I would protect your children until you are certain that you want to spend a long time with this guy. I had a few friends that introduced their children to EVERY boyfriend they had and in the long run totally screwed up their kids. Everything is always great in the beginning but your arent just protecting your heart right now but also your girls. A stable environment is whats comforting and it makes them adjust easier to change if things get serious later on. You'll know when its time :) GL

    dedicatedmama2

    Answer by dedicatedmama2 at 11:13 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Dated him about six months before introducing my kids. He actually, had to ask me, if he'd ever get to meet my kids. We dated over a year and half. I broke things off with him but we are still friends and talk almost every day...
    He's still a great friend...
    I would talk to your girls and him about the meeting. Meet in a public place so either of you can leave it anyone gets uncomfortable.
    Best wishes...
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 11:19 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Personally if I were single and dating, the guy wouldn't meet my kids at all, not unless it go serious. Kids get attached easy. But thats just me
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:33 AM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Depends on how serious it is. I would ask him where he thinks it's going. I for one let my man meet my kid on date1 but it was slightly different circumstances. I had actually known him for 10 years, my kid was 13, she knew I was going to date him and wanted to meet him (all 13-year olds want to tell you if they suck or not). I ended up marrying the guy.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:31 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • i would wait a bit longer. maybe just bring it up 2 him & see how he feels about meeting them ect..
    ciaras_mom_05

    Answer by ciaras_mom_05 at 12:46 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I would wait a long time, maybe a year at least or at least until you're sure it's serious and not just the honeymoon period. Some guys are secretly perverts and so you have to be careful about letting a guy near your kids. Some perverts purposefully seek out single moms to date and then molest/abuse the kids. Don't mean to be a downer but better safe than sorry, right? I'd also run a background check on him to see if he's a registered offender or has any suspicious history or money problems. If you decide to let him meet the kids, make sure it's ALWAYS supervised and never let them be alone with him.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:45 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • 2 months
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Introduce him right after you make plans for a future together,like after you talk about engagement/marriage

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

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