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3 Bumps

Evil mother in law

My mother in law never listens to anything i have to say about my child. I have a certain way i want things done, and i have my child on a certain schedule, my mother in law says im just going to spoil her all the time, and doesnt keep her on a schedule, so when my baby comes home, in 2 days, her schedule is off and its a fight to get her back on, i have told her she has to stick to my schedule but she doesnt listen to me and gets offended, also shes always in our business and its like shes trying to break me and my hubby up, i have no idea what to do, i dont want to be mean, but i dont know what else to do.

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Asked by MommyBre21 at 1:07 PM on Jul. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (407 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Why do you send her over there for days at a time?

    Answer by sugamama3 at 1:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • How old is your child? Do you have to send her to her grandmother's house? Maybe the visits should be shorter, and not over-night, so she does less damage to your schedule. My four children rarely stayed overnight at their grandparents' homes unless I was there, also. My eldest spent a week with one grandma, but she was twelve years old at the time. When they were preschoolers, they never would have slept away from home.
    You are right to have a schedule. Your child will be much happier on a schedule, but it should have a SMALL amount of flexibility to it. Of course, grandmothers don't always listen, and want to spoil their grandchildren. But if your MIL doesn't respect you, then you should limit how much influence she has over your child.
    However, if you love your DH, you will need to find a way to build a better relationship with his mother.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 1:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • If she doesnt listen to your rules then i wouldnt let her spend alone time hun.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 1:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Stop sending her over there & the problem is solved! She doesn't want to play by your rules when it comes to YOUR child, then she doesn't get the privilage to see the child!

    Answer by something_ at 1:14 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I get it grandparents like to spoil however you should talk to her about keeping her on her schedule. If not then do not send her there overnight.

    Answer by mollgirl59 at 1:15 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Watch the show "Everybody loves Raymond". The mother in law there is vrey irritating but it is because she loves her family and that is who she is. Two days off schedule is not the end of the world. When you refer to her as evil, I wonder if you might be the one causing the problem. Back off and let her be the gramma.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Okay then if she does not do what you want then she can only visit your child in your home and I would be polite but set boundaries tell her she raised her child and now you are raising you child all she has to do is be the grandmother.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:27 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Don't let her watch the child? That's easy, give her b.s. Excuses, if she demands at some point why she isn't watching the child tell her the schedule and just respecting what you want done with your child, that if she can't listen, then you can't really trust her.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:33 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Do you need to leave your child with your mother in law? Limit her time w/the kids and that should help. Your husband needs to back you up on this in order to get through to her. Tell him that it's for his benefit too that the kids stay on a schedule or else he'll be the one not getting any sleep at night and dealing w/the kids. I would say that all 3 of you sit down and that you have a typed up schedule and agreement and set the rules If she agrees to go by the schedule, then she can spend time w/the kids. If not, you won't let her. They're your kids, not hers.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:37 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • My mom thought my grandmother was "evil" too. She sent me over there for days at a time, I came home super bratty and off my schedule. She still sent me because she realized that it was good for me to be there and spending time with her. It is not going to kill you or your child to be off schedule for a few days especially if she is having fun with Grandma. Read some of the posts about Grandmas that can't stand to be around their grandkids (my MIL) and then be greatful she loves your child.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:50 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

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