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Signs your SO is controlling ...

What are they?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 AM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • he would isolate you from your friends/family, being critical on your behavior and maybe the way how you dress, comments on your friends, easily get fed up when your attitude/behavior isn't met his expectation. He would also expect you to be there for him every minute. He wants all of your attention, all the time.He would not understand that you have other priorities in your life and other people you care about. He basically wants to be the center of your existence.


    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • He probably won't let you hang out with friends, he will probably tell you what to wear and he will probably control all of the money! IDK thats just my guess

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • 1) He wants to see you only at his convenience and doesn't want you around at certain parties, vacations, holidays with him.
    2) He is only able to have a one sided relationship and urges you to spend time with his friends and family, but has no desire to delve into your own life.
    3) Give and take is not in his vocabulary.
    4) He is only happy doing things that he wants to do and will dismiss any activities that you suggest.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:28 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • 5) He only wants to stay at his place and doesn't want to put the effort to go to your place for once (even if you live a town away).
    6) He puts you down and doesn't accept you for your wonderful self to make himself feel superior and more controlling.
    7)He will never say "I'm sorry" if he has said or done something to hurt you and does not acknowledge or take responsibility for his actions/words. )

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:28 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • 8) He constantly tells you things that you are doing "wrong". Nothing you do pleases him and you feel constantly judged, unappreciated, and unloved. For example, I was told once that I was using too many knives when cooking and that he was mad because it "was taking away our quality time by washing them." As a result, you feel as if every move you make is so-called, wrong in his book.
    9) He only kisses you when he feels like it and denies any loving behavior from you whenever he wants to.
    10) He takes out his anger on you whenever he is unhappy (which is almost all the time).

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:29 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I had a controlling bf who controlled how I ate, what I wore, I wasn't allowed to wear make up cuz other men would look at me. He made me feel like I was beneath him, and didn't deserve him, like he was doing me some big favor for being with me. He bragged to his friends about how "whipped" I was. He told me how fat and ugly I was and what to do to change it. I bought into it ALL! And he left me a broken shell. Luckily I met someone to pick up the pieces and help me heal..... I hope this is just wondering and you're not matching any of this to YOUR SO.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Great answers Marlye! The only thing I'd add is that this happens so gradually that you won't see it coming. It will take you by surprise, but everyone around you will feel like you are isolating yourself from them to please this guy. Only when it has gotten to it's worst and you are totally being controlled will you likely wake up to realize what has happened. For some women it is too late. If you think you are being controlled - seek help now! Get yourself out of the situation and find loving family and friends to help you stay out.

    Answer by GrowingMama at 3:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • clappingWell said Marlye!!!


    Answer by Babylove76 at 3:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Sorry I posted so much. This topic scares me. Control leads to physical abuse, and abuse can turn into murder at the hands of the man who "loves" you. There is a difference between being submissive and being abused. The knives thing.... I used to go to his F*CKING house to cook for him and he'd say this!!!

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:35 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Maryle you didnt post too much. Bravo for your strength and your words. Women need to know THOSE THINGS ARE NOT NORMAL!

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 4:30 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

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