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3 Bumps

What do you do when your teen wants to go stay with the other parent?

I feel like my daughter is being used by her father. She stayed with him before and she stole 20dollars and did other things 8 yr olds do at that age and he said he never wanted anything to do with her again. So when she got in trouble at 13 i felt like it was time for him to step up and atleast talk to her about her behavior. He still said the same thing he said when she was 8. So i happen to get in touch with his son who he hasnt seen in 2yrs or talk to. I decided to go get him so he can see his sister. As we were coming back to my home i decided to take them to see their dad and he was surprised and happy to see her but not him. She started talking to him on the phone that day and he started promising her all kinds of things. This man is feuding with his sister and wants my daughter to feud with her to. So he tells her he's moving in this big house and she can have her own room. He has a daughter that stays with him alreadythat is younger than her. This is all complicated. He is going to use her to babysit and amongs other things. My daughter dont understand why she cant live with him. He talks about everybody, this is something i dont do in my home. She not moving there and he tells me that he is going to do it legally since i want let her move there. What do i do?

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Shonnie714

Asked by Shonnie714 at 5:47 PM on Jul. 10, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think if your daughter wants to live with her father you should let her.
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 5:56 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Let him try and get her. He won't get legal custody unless there are things going on in your home that would make the courts think she would be better off with him. I wouldn't contact him. I am not sure why you did to begin with since he was telling you several times that he didn't want a relationship with your daughter. He obviously isn't a good dad or he would never say things like that.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 5:59 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • let her go or she will resent you forever...believe me, if things are as bad as you say, she will be back before you know it. If not then you get to be the fun parent for a change. I had to do this with my son, our relationship is so much stronger now that he got to see for himself what an asshat his dad was. he is 23 now
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 6:10 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Tell him to bring it on! My ex lives in Germany and he tells my daughter she can stay with him, that he will take her to France and Italy....all this bs. He has told me he will take me to court and I said get your game on! He can't do crap.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 6:11 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Let him feed her all the BS he wants!!! Don't stand in her way because that will only make her run the other way! She will find out on her own what an ass he really is and will come back running!
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 6:37 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Let her go and she will learn the truth on her own. It's better to let her go than having a custody battle that will cost you money for an attorney.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:58 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • The reason I said let her go if she wants to is because... My stepkids came for a 2 week summer visit this year and they were very angry with their Mom because they feel that she over controls their relationship with their dad. She chooses when they can talk to him on the phone, when they come for a visit and how long they get to stay. Yes that is her right as a mom, but my point is, they feel they do not get a choice in the matter at all and their dad has no choice either. One of my step daughters came to me crying asking "Why does my mom think she is the only parent? Why is it only her decision who I live with? I want to live with you and daddy for a while, I have lived with her for 10 years now I want to come back and live with y'all again and she wont let me." If she's not happy she will come back to you. I just feel that a child should have some choices when it comes to this.
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 1:08 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I have seen my stepkids be torn apart because of a divorce they had no say in and also a custody battle that they have no say in. All they know is they want both of their parents.
    And in our case that is extremely hard because we live over 450 miles away...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 1:10 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Here in Florida once a child turns 12 they have the right to choose which parent they want to live with. Yes it still has to go through the courts. Let her live with him for a while. BUT, Tell her and her dad at the same time that if that is what they want, then he has to go through the courts to make it legal. My guess is he won't lift a finger, He may though. As it goes and he does nothing she will get to see how much he is an ass. It is some tough love on her part because she will cry and get her feelings hurt. As long as you are willing to let her go if he does step up to the plate she won't resent you. Be there for her, she is going to need it, cause he may not so shit and she will need someone in her corner.
    Angela_1974

    Answer by Angela_1974 at 9:24 AM on Jul. 24, 2011

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