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I cannot stand my 7 yr old!

I don't know what to do. If I tell him no to something, he screams and throws a fit like a 2 yr old. If I send him to time out for throwing a fit, he screams at the top of his lungs as if someone just beat the crap out of him.

He gets mad because his little brother gets praised more, yet his little brother does chores, is helpful and respectful, and never throws temper tantrums over anything. I've explained that his brother is getting praised for good behavior, and that he would receive the same praise if he would stop and think about his attitude and adjust it appropriately. He will literally say "well I don't want to!! and that's not fair!!"

He just asked for a cheese stick, I said dinner will be ready in a few so no. The threw himself on the couch and wined. I reminded him that they have grapes on the table for snack, he screamed "I don't want grapes, I want cheese!" and started whining. So I sent him to time out, he started screaming as if he had been beat, literally screaming and crying. I lost it, grab him, turned him around and spanked his butt and said "now you have a reason to scream."

I know I shouldn't have resorted to the spanking, but I'm at wits end here. Every day, every issue. I ask him to do anything it turns into him screaming as if he was beat. Seriously I'm about ready to take away every little luxury he has. His games, his movies, his toys, stopping sports activities, and extra activities, and making him earn everything back. I'm seriously about ready to make him do wall sits or push ups every time he starts to whine. I want to frigging rip my hair out. Oh, and to make matters better, he NEVER acts like this with MIL.... and why, because she lets him have EVERYTHING he wants, and she only takes him out for special time, not the other kids. I'm thinking of putting a stop to that crap as well.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jul. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Don't 'think' about it. Do it. You lost control somewhere along the way with this child. It is up to you to make the change to get it back.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:49 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • So you don't think that buy stripping down everything to the basics and having him work to earn it back will cause more problems. Thats my hold up right now. I expect that everything will get worse at some point before it gets better, but I'm worried that it won't get better at all.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:52 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • wow! I honestly feel your pain...I have a 2 1/2 year old and I know it's called terrible two's but I am going through something very very similar. I can't take it anymore either and the other day at the beach I yelled my lungs out at him and then felt stupid because he then started crying his lungs out. However, sometimes it's just too much. I am no expert just a struggling mom too, but all I could say is be consistent and don't give him any attention at all when he yells (NO ATTENTION AT ALL!!!). I was a real brat when I was young and my doctor brought me to the psychologist and he said: "When there is no spectators, there is no show!" So even though it's difficult to hear him yell his lungs out, just try to ignore it completely (wear ear plugs if you have to). Best of luck!
    bianca2422

    Answer by bianca2422 at 8:52 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • It sounds like he needs more attention and may be jealous of his brother. He is seeing the praising you are giving your younger son so he may be resorting to the fits just to get some sort of attention from you. It's frustrating, I know. My 3 year old does this whenever I haven't given her enough attention or praise. Be consistant on dicipline, but maybe you could take some time for you and him to just spend time together and enjoy each other. What is his favorite thing to do? Maybe set up a day to do just that. I wish you lots of luck. This is just a phase, hopefully soon he will grow out of it.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 9:00 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Don't take away his time with Grandma. That is a different relationship. Grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren.
    I know it must be a disappointment to see both of your children as the opposite of each other when it comes to behavior. Think about the good things your son does that it makes you happy. If your son likes cheese sticks telling him that he can have one. But next time he asks for one he would have to eat at least to grapes. Each one of you have to compromise. grapes. Each one of you have to compromise.
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 9:01 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Sorry for the repetition on the last sentence. Must be the PC!
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 9:04 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I'm sorry your having a hard time... I went through the same thing with my son... But, we got through it and he's a wonderful kid now
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 9:08 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Honestly he sounds like my 6 year old. Except my DS started all of his tantrums at 2 when I gave him a sister like he asked for. It may be possiblethat sibling rivalry has started late for him or changed into tantrums. Try 1-2-3 Magic. He may just need mommy and son time. Also, don't beat yourself up for a spanking, it is not against the law to spank your child, it is called corporal punishment. So long as they do not bruise, break or bleed you are NOT abusing them. Good Luck

    wmbeener

    Answer by wmbeener at 9:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • oh and I just read in a book about disciplining children that it wasn't good to take away their activities (a computer game is different but not their activities that are out of the house (meaning the organised ones such as soccer, hockey..etc.). i don't remember why now and I am sorry but don't have time to research it at the moment but I am just letting you know.
    bianca2422

    Answer by bianca2422 at 9:10 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • If you need to take everything away do it. He is 7. Make him respect you. I'm sure he has a sweet spot. If you don't do it now think what the teen years would be like.
    Amr515

    Answer by Amr515 at 9:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

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