Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

MIL advice needed please!!

I have a 2 yr old son and am 7 months pregnant with #2 (meaning, I'm exhausted with just everyday life!). My in-laws aren't awful people, but definately needy and would like a lot more time with us than they get. I am getting absolutely overwhelmed with their requests to have "family dinner" so often!! It seems like they are never satisfied! They call us last minute and we try to figure something out so they can see us (meet for ice cream, go to the park, etc.) and then a day or two later they request "family dinner" with us again!! I'm so frustrated and exhausted and overwhelmed ... I don't want to hurt their feelings, but they are pushing us farther away by requesting so much of us! They don't let it go either, if they request a dinner, they will ask us nightly until it works out - uhh!! And then a week later they will want to do it again. What can I say or have my husband say or do to help them get the point?! He's talked with them before, and they always get back to the same place they're at once again. Thanks so much for any input!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jul. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • That's a tough one..maybe just send him over there and they will get the hint......or just flat out decline and tell them you are exhausted...basically thanks but no thanks...they may need to find a hobby lol....everyone needs their space
    Ktbugsmom22

    Answer by Ktbugsmom22 at 9:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Why not tell them that is pregnancy is unusually exhausting you, and make a standing "once a month" dinner date for the third Sunday of every month? That should shut them up for a while. If they don't understand or fuss, stand your ground. This isn't about them, it's about you and your baby.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 9:24 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Tell them you're so glad that they want to spend time with you and your family. Explain that you are very exhausted and overwhelmed right now, and it might be difficult to get together as frequently as you'd like to, but you're excited to share time with them when both of you are available at the same times. Tell them you don't want to have to feel like you're TRYING to make time for them, and that right now, it might be better to just go with the flow, and play dinners/outings by ear.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:46 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I know how u feel...my family and my husbands family are the same way. I just try to remind myself to feel grateful to have a family who cares
    SJSMOMMA

    Answer by SJSMOMMA at 10:15 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I feel like it's never satisfying to them. My 2 yr old is a handful right now and it's just so much to commit 5 or 6 hrs to "dinner" with them - they don't respect my choices as a mother to my son and I feel like they think it's owed to them to be able to see us. It's never enough if only my dh goes over there ... he tried that Tuesday ... Friday we had ice cream with them, and Sunday I get an email requesting dinner!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:43 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • To make it easy we just set a standing date with parents, every sunday after churxh we eat sunday dinner with them, spend an hour or so visiting and go home. It works for us. Maybe ya'll could pick a day.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 10:47 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I would pick one night every week to have dinner with them. Tell them politely life is too hectic right now to do anymore. If they know you'll have dinner with them every Thursday night, hopefully they'll just look forward to that night and not request anything more. And if you aren't feeling up to it on any of the times, send your 2 year old and your hubby still and you can take that evening for some much needed rest.
    PTmomma3

    Answer by PTmomma3 at 10:56 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • I'd just let them know that you're pregnant and not up to it. Insure them that once you don't have all thsi extra weight and a baby stealing all your food and energy and then get through the newborn stage that you'll be more up to doing things. If you explain it nicely and remind them that it's only a few months out of a lifetime, they'll understand.
    hill_star03

    Answer by hill_star03 at 11:25 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.