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How do I help my hubby with his depression?

My husband and I are currently going thru bankruptcy, foreclosure and the loss of his business due to the economy. We've found a cute little house with a large yard to rent, are just about all moved in. The kids are doing better than I anticipated with the move, but my husband is not. He has not even tried looking for a job! I have been all over him and searching for jobs for him but I think I'm just making it worse. I asked him this morning why he isn't making any attempt to look, and he told me he is depressed, that he feels like he has hit rock bottom! I don't know what else to do or say to get him out of this slump! Can anyone please give me some sort of advice? Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • My husband is the same way right now . Some men get that way especially feeling like they are failing the family . Can't provide for them in the way he wants them to . I just tell him that some way some how we will get through it and that money don't buy love . Good Luck !
    katherine4

    Answer by katherine4 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • The only thing I can say to you is, maybe give him a little space and a little time to get back in the game. Not to long though, maybe a month if possible. If he has not snapped out of his funk,(depression)by then.  It is time to light a fire under him.   GL

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:51 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • switch roles for a while, you find a job let him take car of the home\\abd if someone doesnt like my opinion then leave it be....thanks
    Shannon85

    Answer by Shannon85 at 10:05 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Everyone in life who has been successful has usually been down a rough road...experience in the hard times can help you to succeed down the road. There is a lot to be learned even in the rough times...I know my husband and I went through a bankruptcy and the loss of his business and we did go through a really hard time but just encourage your husband that things can get better and share with him in a nice way that you are just concerned about making things better and staying ahead of the bills, etc. You have only been defeated if you quit...also remind him that 85% (I believe is close to the statistic) of the world lives worse off than Americans...so he is still rich in 85% of the world's eyes. We live in the greatest country on earth, and he just has to go out there and seize the opportunities...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • The depression if it continues he may have to get on antidepressants but I would only do this as a temporary and not long term...you do not want to be on antidepressants long term some of them are very addictive. Hope this helps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Enjoy the holidays for now and forget about any worries. Noone is really hiring around this time...that is for a good paying job....things should start picking up in the new year. So just be supportive and give him some space...do some fun things as a family. and pray pray pray...things will get better, they usually get worse before they get better... you guys are not along. Many other families on same boat. Happy Holidays!!! .....it is about sharing and spending quality time....enjoy the rest of the year....:)
    BusinessMom123

    Answer by BusinessMom123 at 2:36 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • He's feeling pressure about losing his job so I wouldn't try to push him to hard about work. Try using encouraging words & let him know that you are there for him. Let him know how proud you are of him as a husband & a father. I would also tell him the things that you love about him as being a man. Like most men, They carry a lot of pride & probably to much. Stand by him & let him build up his self esteem & he will be back out in no time!

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 9:39 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Just help him more and let him know you care.
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 5:04 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • OO! My husband recently said the same thing to me! Here's what I've been doing:
    I told him that things happen and it isnt his fault. I tried showing him all great things that are going on right now, such as health, our daughter, ect ect. Then I've tried to do some special things such as a nice dinner after our daughter goes to sleep with a movie, and little things to keep his mind off of the bad stuff. Slowly showing him that life aint that bad and that he truly is a great guy ect ect. Also, let him know for a fact that you support him unconditionally, and that you love him no matter what happens. That this situation is just a road block that in the end with just strength you guys as a family.

    Hope this helps and good luck!!
    hirschichocolat

    Answer by hirschichocolat at 5:45 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I agree with hirschichocolat! Those are some great ideas. If you see something you think he'd be great at, then encourage him to apply or fax his resume for him, but don't push it too much. Just let him know you love him and he'll see the light.
    chickadee8654

    Answer by chickadee8654 at 9:42 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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