Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Confuse... :( adult content

Iam a 29year old single mother of a 10 year old and 8 year old...I met a nice 28 year old man that really has his life together...he has 2boys ages 6 and 5 he has custody of them...he and his cousin are homeowners they share a house but each one has a diffrent floor...hes a social worker and he has a nice car and is not cheap when he takes me out on dates!! lol okay so we met on april 15th and have been talking since...we do more texting then talking on the actual phone...he gives me mix signals...he was very honest to tell me he talks to other people and at the time i really didnt care because i was doing the same...I dont give him my all because in the back of of my mind I know hes still talks to other woman...but I guess what i need to know being that i havent been in the dating world for so long is when should I have the talk with him about where we stand? I had sex with him for the first time about a week ago..and everything is the same he hasnt changed with me and thats good...but when are we going to the next level? Iam I rushing? the last thing I want to do is force a guy to be in a relationship!!! P.s. Now I see him 3x a week his son and my son practice football together...but Iam a volunteer coach so Iam pretty busy to talk to him...

Answer Question

Asked by yami10b at 2:20 AM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't of had sex with him if you guys are dating others and it sounds like he at least is. Its kind of awkward once you have sex with them to have to ask where you two stand. Maybe I am an old fashioned freak but I personally never dated more than one guy at once.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 2:24 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I say just ask him! Go for it. Dont be ashamed momma you should just make sure that it is over the phone or face to face not thru text.

    Answer by gsae at 2:28 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • yea I can admit I mess up having sex with him...I cant take that back...but Iam def not dating anyone else...i stop when I started to like him more..

    Comment by yami10b (original poster) at 2:29 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • keep meeting and dating other guys, don't put all of your eggs in one basket because he certainly isn't. i would not ask him "where we stand" because he is not ready. when you are not in his presence i guarantee you he is taking other chicks to dinner too among other things. just remember there's lots of fish in the sea- - that's how he see it- trust me.

    Answer by gwen20 at 2:35 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • he really does have his shit together....

    Answer by MsSelfDestruct at 2:39 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • yea my friends tell me the date other men and I wont get to caught up with him...but its really hard Iam always with my kids and when I do go out with the girls men dont really approche me...

    Comment by yami10b (original poster) at 2:41 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Ask him- are you sleeping with other women or just me? (And of course I'm sure he'll try his best to not give you a straight answer....) Then tell him "I think it was a mistake for us to sleep together so soon, without being exclusive. I like you, and I'd like to continue to see you, but I don't want to have sex with you again until we are both exclusive."

    Say what's on your mind. You shouldn't have to ask others what to say think or feel!!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:50 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Here's the thing...he has kids and so do you seems great now but could you see yourself being a step mom. mixing and blending families is not all that's cracked up to be. If things don't work out there's not just 2 hearts at stake there's the kids as well because they also bond. When I was single with kids I dated single dads and they were always, in the end looking for a wife or mom for the kids. Money and cars and nice things does not bring happiness it just helps. Maybe just staying friends for now is best and when your just friends there's no relationship issues because your just friends

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:52 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I wouldn't have sex so soon, but I understand getting caught in the moment. Explain to him how you are feeling, but then again it might be too soon. Some guys get scared by things like that. I agree with how partygall explained it. He does have his life together, and it is good that you have met someone.

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 3:18 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Thats a conversation that should have been had after you all had sex, if hes not approaching you in a way to try to start something more serious, then that kind of says what he wants or wanted. I knew my hubby for 3 years before we dated, it started out the night we slept together and from that day we were together exclusively. I had a son he had no kids and we agreed if we were together that was it no bs. You're both adults he seems mature you should be able to talk to him and ask him whats going on and get a straight out answer. If you don't then you know what to do.

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 4:04 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.