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How can i convince my ex-husband that relocating is good?

I have been legally separated from my husband for 17 months. Hechoose to move 6hrs away (suddenly) and tried to get an order making me pay for all transportation expenses. He has since been ordered to enter and complete drug and alcohol treatment. He is compliant with this order. The problem is I have since started dating someonfrom my hometown of Honolulu. (we all.live in washington state now) I wish to relocate back to.Hawaii. I knowthat my ex-husband cannot afford to regularly visit our children. (Atm he is allowed one weekend , supervised visitation). And I am not willing to foot he bill fo him anymore. I know that offering to help with expenses might help in getting his consentfor me to relocate but what else can I say to persuade him? There is nothing in our divorce papers that says i cannot move but I would rather avoid him taking me back to court. I am he legal guardian of both children andhe is allowed visitation.

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Fioismommy

Asked by Fioismommy at 4:22 AM on Jul. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Sorry, can't offer suggestions since I don't know him. My personal opinion is that if you move, esp somewhere that far away from where you live now, you ought to be willing to pay AT LEAST 1/2 of the transportation costs, ideally ALL of it if he cannot afford them. It would be for your CHILDREN, rather than for the Ex, so that THEY can have a relationship w/their Dad. W/the distance, even just one or two trips a year would be better than none, maybe they could Skype in between physical visits. If he wants more time w/them, he could always go to Hawaii for a visit, or even move there. Good luck!
    SleuthMaria

    Answer by SleuthMaria at 5:17 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Your divorce papers may not say it but it may be a state law.

    In Illinois (where I was from) I couldn't move out of state without going to get the courts permission. At that point, my XH had to bring up points as to why I shouldn't move. Also, the court could tell me no since it would eliminate any chance my child would have of having a relationship with her dad.
    I would see what the court has to say. Since, he obviously didn't care about this when HE chose to move away, the court shouldn't see an issue with you going back home. AND, I wouldn't have paid for him for transportation. He CHOSE to move.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:36 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • honestly i dont know what the laws are in washington but if your moving that far away it should be your responsiblety to pay 1/2 the expense for the visitations....and if you have court order visits and you dont have the kids show up your in violation of a court order and could go to jail or have a major fine on your hands
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 12:42 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

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