Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How can a single mom keep her sex life private from her kids? adult content

I've been divorced for two years, my kids know I am dating, but I don't want need them to know I am having sex. My ex lives in another state, he has visitation only in the summer. (No weekend privacy) My younger son is with ex now, my 16 year old is home all summer. Last year he sometimes spent weekends at a cousin's house, but then my sis moved out of state.

So, we have a large house. Son's room is downstairs at the back, my room is up and in front. He won't hear anything. But being the darling son that he is, every now and then he comes up to talk to me early in the morning. Or sometimes comes up to say goodnight very late. There is a lock on the door at the top of the stairs. (I've never locked it before) Can I tell him not to knock if the door is locked? I think he'll figure out pretty quick why.

OK, my question is a technical one, not a moral one. We all have different views on what's OK when it comes to sex. Please don't bother bashing or judging me on this one.
This is one of those awkward "OK for me to do but not for you kid" things. I'm 44. Just met some one. I've been alone for too long, I'm ready to have sex again; but I don't expect this relationship will lead to marriage. So I don;t think I can give my son the "Mommy and John are two adults in love ...." speech. I don't want to rush into getting married again and add a stepfather to our home. Really most of my life is all about my kids. But now I need someone in my life just for me....

Any helpful suggestion?


Answer Question
 
chicanueva

Asked by chicanueva at 6:16 AM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • At 16 he is old enough to know what you're doing. Just be straight with him. Don't try to hide anything because that could cause anger and resentment. I personally wouldnt have a bunch of different guys in and out (I am in NO way saying you have a bunch of men in and out), but If its one man, and you're serious about him, introduce them. But if you are having a bunch of randoms, then I would keep that at his house or in a hotel.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:29 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Why not at your BF's house?
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 6:41 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Don't bring it home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Get a hotel or go to your bfs house.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:50 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • i agree with the others. have casual sex elsewhere, and only bring the guys you're serious about home.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:00 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Tell your 16-year-old son to get a job to save money for college. Problem solved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • 16 is old enough to be left home alone at night... just tell him that you are going out and will be home later, but NO parties for him (in a joking fashion lol).. and go meet your BF at his place, a hotel, or even get freaky in a car. =)

    or state enforcing a knock only rule or no one is allowed in your room until 9am or something. so even if BF isnt there, the rule is in place so its not a weird coincidence for when BF does come over
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 8:21 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Your child will be 18 in two years, personally, I would wait. If you don't want to wait, don't bring your casual sex home. Tell your son you will be home late from work or whatever and met somewhere for a quickie.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • If you don't want him to know don't have the guy stay over maybe go to his house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN