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What we say vs what they hear

Our 20 y/o son has had over 6 mos to get his act together incl cleaning his horder-ish room & taking boxed belongings up to the attic. We've had him sign a contract w/ us & the deadline came & went a while ago. In mid June we gave him written notice to have it done by July 22 or find another place to live. (He is VERY messy & leaves his kitchen messes for us to deal with too) We have been very patient but our patience has run out. To hear him tell it, we have given him til July 22 to find another place to live. NOTHING about his slovenly conditions or using us like this is his hotel & we are his maids. UGH!!! Am I missing something here or is this just how it is w/ this generation?!


Asked by mrsmom110 at 9:46 AM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (10)
  • LOL, good luck to his future roommates!

    Answer by SWasson at 10:16 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • it's how this generation works.... LOL. Going through something somewhat similar with my 18 YO sd.

    Answer by mish1153 at 9:48 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • what's funny to me.........I didn't raise my son to be like that! I think an alien sneak into his ears when he was about 14

    Answer by Dahis at 10:04 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Sweep EVERYTHING into a bag and take the bags outside. That might give him a hint?

    Answer by meooma at 10:31 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • tape an eviction notice to the door of his room and stick to the date.....

    Answer by cara124 at 10:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Your son may have a serious problem. Does he have attachment issues. Try and dig a little deeper. Was he always a "hoarder" or did this just develop suddenly? Sonetimes it helps when the hoarder just gets a little help out of the rut. These 16-20 year olds that still live at home with us, like to do things by their own terms, so probably and ultimatum will not work. He's just gonna do a half-assed job and accumulate an even bigger mess. What I had to do with my 20 year old daughter to get her "hoarding" clutter, under control. I gave her 3 huge boxes KEEP/DONATE/TRASH we cleaned up her entire attic level in about 2 hours. I also got her plastic see-thru bins. Now, everything is organizd and smelling good! She felt great about donating items that she had 2 or 3 of and just didn't fit/wear anymore. We went to a women and children's homeless shelter. Be supportive, don't threaten. Good luck

    Answer by calatres at 4:35 PM on Jul. 11, 2011


    I ran across this site called Empowering Parents....the link is above. I couldn't read it all but it was really, really helpful, I thought. There was alot of information to help motivate the unmotivated just have to look around all over the page to find what suits you.

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 12:23 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Ignore what he says. He is trying to save face by putting all the blame back on you. It is more important what he does. Looks to me like he will be out of there by July 22. Make sure you pack his bags if he doesn't.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • My kids were the same, now that they have their own place, they keep it spotless. At least I taught them well.

    Answer by CarrieR62 at 12:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2011

  • Ditto calatres' answer.

    Answer by tasches at 2:46 PM on Jul. 14, 2011