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5 Bumps

Why Do People Do This?

I am not one to judge people. Everyone has a story. I guess I kind of try to find the good in everyone usually, even tho I know people abuse systems in place to help. I know not everyone does.

But let me back up. My fiance has worked a full time job since he was 16. Not the same one but always had a job. He has paid his taxes, never been in trouble with the law, generally contributed to the Gross Domestic Product or whatever it is they call it. He is a good father and has always been current with his child support. As a matter of fact he CHOSE to pay double what the state requirement is because he believes that the childs mother and child deserved more. He also pays for half of all lessons, uniforms, back to school supplies, clothes and shoes. He has the child for visitation every weekend, school holidays and atleast a month every summer. We even pay for the childs cell phone. As a household we were always current with our bills but had little to nothing in savings. Our car is old but paid for and insured. Our children are well behaved, clean and honor roll students. I have been a stay at home mom because my son has disablities that require extra care and attention. Until recently I have also taken in home day care work to supplement my fiances earnings. The 2 children I was watching also had their father loose his job. We all do volunteer work.

He had a great job and now due to unforseen circumstances the company is closing and 200 people have lost their jobs... suddenly. They were given 2 weeks salary as severence. That money is long gone. Health Insurance is gone. As of right this moment we don't have any outstanding bills besides our rent and his childsupport. We will soon... within days. The bank account is seriously in the red. He has applied to more posted jobs than you can shake a stick at, he has handed in resumes at places that weren't posting jobs.... just in case. He took a sales job that was 100% commission(which was not made clear at the interview nor was it on the offer of employment) and after 90 hours of work they paid him $50. He left that job. Now he is disqualified for Unemployment (In Appeals). We applied for Food Stamps and State health coverage and qualified for both. It was not something we wanted to do and it was an absolute last resort. The money is gone, and there is no job in the immediate future that we can see.

Today we were in a local grocery store purchasing groceries. Sandwich meat, salad fixings (lettuce, celery, cucumbers ect), bread, cheese, apple sauce, milk and Capri Sun Waters for the kids as a treat. Healthy food, no junk. I forgot that I had put a package of napkins (99 cents) in with all the rest and when I swiped the EBT card our teller made a point of saying in a loud voice " Oh these aren't covered under food stamps you will have to pay for them seperately or do you want me to put them back?" The people in line made disgusted noises and there was some comment about "Get a job, thats my tax money"

Why? Why do people have to be like that? We understand its your tax money, but its ours too. We worked for it too. We claimed our incomes, filed our taxes, paid into the system for years and have never before 2 weeks ago asked for anything from that system. We aren't asking for help for forever, just for now. As soon as my fiance can get a job we will stop using it. We didn't ask to be unemployed and are doing everything we can to fix this situation.

I guess what I am saying is: If you are one of these people that gets disgusted by people on Food Stamps ect : You don't know everyones story. While yes, there are some that abuse this system, not every one does. Why lump them all together? Why kick people when they are down?

We have already decided that when we get on our feet again, and have a little savings, if we see someone with EBT paying for groceries we aren't going to judge. We are going to pay for their groceries ourselves. Ask if there is anything else they need help with. Maybe buy them a gas card or a gift card for the things that food stamps doesn't cover..... like 99 cent Napkins!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (16)
  • People who do that have never seen rough times.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:48 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • You have made a great point. I am so sorry that your family is going through such a hard time. I hope things get better for you guys soon. I will remember your story the next time I start to get annoyed in the grocery store and someone is using assistance. It could just as easily be me one day if dh lost his job.

    Answer by AngieBry at 10:50 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • People are assholes sometimes..
    Apparently they've never needed a little help!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:50 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Sorry its so long and thank you ladies for your support.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Yes, people that do that have never been in that situation or know someone in that situation. It sucks, but a lot of people don't understand. Yes, I know a lot of people that just abuse the system and I wish the system was fixed so that it was harder to abuse it. But most people are not in that situation because they chose to be.
    I would be careful if you really are planing on offering someone to pay for their groceries or give them a gift card, etc. Just as a lot of people are prejudicial against people on stamps, a lot pf people on stamps carry a chip on their shoulders because of it. I've encountered a lot of people that could use the extra help and have gotten mad at me for offering it.

    Answer by Dalimonster at 10:55 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Unfortunately people judge others and have little empathy until it happens to them. Hopefully you will be back on your feet soon. Good luck!

    Answer by Quinn525 at 10:57 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Thank you Dali. I will keep that in mind. If someone offered us that kind of support I would be so grateful and appreciative I would probably cry and hug them. I forget that not everyone thinks that way.
    Sitting in the office to apply for the help was probably one of the worst experiences in my life. There was 2 camps there: the quiet desperation people and the ones probably abusing the system. I hesitate to generalize but usually the ones in the later camp were loud and demanding.
    The whole thing just sucks. Its an awful postion to be in period.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:01 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Worry about yourself. People are so judgemental and assume the worst in everybody. Most people don't abuse the system. Most people are trying to improve their lives and are using government support to help get them to the next phase in their lives. It depresses me that the lack of compassion and understanding is so overt mist of the time. That cashier sounds like an ass- you should have reported her to a manager. Her comment would be like if someone was buying condoms and she shouted "you're not married- you shouldn't be having sex at all you slut!!"

    What you buy and how you buy it is absolutely none of her or anyone else's business. Sorry you're going through hard times, I hope things turn around for you soon:)

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:16 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I find your story at the check out hard to believe.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I am sorry you feel that way but I have no reason to lie. Have an awesome day Ms Anon :)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:36 AM on Jul. 11, 2011

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