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feeling down. Anyone else keep xmas but their spouse doesn't?

My hubby was raised in a religion that they do not keep xmas, but I was raised to keep it. The 1st 3 yrs we were together he kept it with us but really didn't want to, he didn't want gifts at all. But this yr he is refusing to even come to my parents house, even for dinner. Out of respect for him we do not keep it on our house but I got our daughter gifts to open at my parents. I understand why they do not keep it, but he doesn't understand how I could still keep it knowing it's origins (not as originally being celebrated as the birth of Christ and it not actually being the day Christ was born). I'm just really in the dumps about it today, about him not even wanting to be there for dinner

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SMWOODS

Asked by SMWOODS at 12:33 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 9 (363 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Thats very difficult isnt it?. Try and compromize with your spouse. Let him understand that its not the actualy day persay. But just a certain day we choose to celebrate the Brith of Christ ya know?. Does he believe In Christ? I'll pray for you two.
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 12:41 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Could you ask him as a favor to you and the family, just to consider it as a simple dinner with family instead of a "Christmas" thing?
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 12:41 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • he belives in Christ, just the denomination he was raised and in and attend now, they don't keep Christmas. When we met, he wasn't in that church anymore, when he went off ot college he quit going and when we met we were both going to a Baptist church. But after we had been married over a yr he decided he wanted to go back to the church he was raised in, which was fine with me. It's a 7th day church, which means we go on Saturday. I know he feels convicted not to attend Christmas but I don't. I don't see anything wrong with it. I do think too many ppl forget what it is about, not about gifts but to celebrate the birth of Christ, even though it was not that day, we do not know exactly what day it was. HYe was upset with me when I told him we were going to my moms and she was doing gifts but he has to get over it.
    SMWOODS

    Answer by SMWOODS at 1:01 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • And also, you know, he cant expect you to all of a sudden go on board with this. When you two met , he wasnt into it right?.. So it just wouldnt be fair for him to ask that of you. Keep on celebrating the Birth of Christ Just as you are. Even if its wit or without him. As long as you keep God in Your life, He will take care of it. He always does. I will def pray that The Lords presence is strongly with your husband every moment of his Life. Dont feel down. kNOW God is comforting you and will not leave you alone girl..:)
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 1:09 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • don't ask him to sacrifice his beliefs for yours. he's not forbidding you to celebrate and you shouldn't encourage him to do somethign that he doesn't believe in. you said it yourself.. you undrstand where he's coming from... its not like he's just making up excuses to not go to the inlaws. maybe arrange something after the holiday season for all of you to get together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Well, if he doesn't view Christmas as a true Christian holiday... then I don't see how attending a family dinner or watching his children open gifts would go against his Christian beliefs. He should view it as just a family get-together --- like Thanksgiving or Labor Day BBQs.... just with gifts.

    If HE doesn't want a gift... that's fine. Don't buy him one. But that's no reason the kids should miss out -- I mean, unless you've both agreed to raise them that way.

    I think I would try to get him to view it in a secular way -- since he doesn't believe it to be a Christian day already. If you can join him at his church of choice on a weekly basis, then I think he can support your beliefs & accompany his wife & children to a family function once a year.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:52 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Jehovahs Witnesses do not celebrate christmas either, but when my kids invite me to have dinner with them, I go and I have dinner. I don't celebrate christmas, I just simply go to dinner just like it is another day. I find it best to just look at it as another day, and my Children really dont believe in christmas either, but spouses do, it is very hard when one believes in it and the other don't. However, there is nothing wrong with having dinner or lunch as long as you aren't celebrating the holiday. I have found it easier to handle it that way. I do give my Grandkids gifts, only when I see It is fit on a day I want to, I call it my love day.
    Freda01

    Answer by Freda01 at 8:35 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

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