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How do i deal with my step son mother?

Okay I have been married for almost a year with my husband and we have been having issues ever since I had my daughter with the mother of his son. She constantly will be rudeto my husband for ridicoulos stuff and causing a big scene for something so small. But recently I has gotten out of hand, my step son that is 6yrs old told be thqt his mom said bad words about me and I didn't cause a big scene because I careless what she thinks but my step son went to his mother n told her I called her lazy when I didn't n she ended texting me a message with the F word etc.. n told my husband to die when instead of her calling like an adult about the situation n made it more than what is was. She has said bad things about me infront of her son and when she thought I did it it was a major deal. How do I express what I feel towards her. I have so much hate and I've tried to bbe an adult about it but she keeps getting under my skin. She needs to respect my husband n family..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jul. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Sounds like all of you need to go to a family counseling to learn to get along better for the 6 yr old. She needs to learn that she shouldnt take bad about his SM or dad because he will grow to resent her.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • You don't. I agree that you guys need some counseling, but if the 6 yo is saying that you said things about his mom to his mom, isn't it possible that he's also playing you guys? When my step son was 4 he went through a phase where actually tried to play us all off each other, but we were open with each other and communicated and quickly found out that he was lying and just trying to see what he could get away with. You guys really need to work with his mom (via counseling if necessary) to establish boundaries.
    miss_lisa

    Answer by miss_lisa at 5:00 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • You can't control her, only you. The best advise I can give is to remember that you chose to be in this situation, she didn't chose for her son to have a SM and she didn't chose you. Not saying she is right, I think everyone in the situation sounds childish but that's often what happens in this situation.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:32 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I think miss lisa makes a very good point as well, it sounds like he is playing you all and you all are falling for it
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:33 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Time for a family meeting of the adults.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I have been with my DH for almost 4 years now and my stepdaughter's biological mom hates me to this very min. There is literally nothing you can do or say to this woman that will turn the lightbulb on. Keep being the bigger person and eventually the child will realize who the true grown ups are. My stepdaughter is 5 years old and has tried to play us but we see right through her so she has stopped - we know she still lies to her mother and her side of the family, for example when we picked her up on Friday she was pretending to cry and begging her grandma to tell us "not to yell at her for crying because it is okay to cry" when truth be told we never yell at her especially for crying, so she had to appologize and tell grandma that she was lying and that we do not yell at her. We explained the reprocussions (sp) that are possible with lying to the other side of her family and thus why it is so important to tell the truth
    NessGuinness

    Answer by NessGuinness at 9:43 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Sounds like she needs a punch in her throat! Lol, jk!!!!! Ignore her, that's the best thing you can do, because it sounds like she's the type of person you can't talk to calmly, and who thrives on drama! She will always be right in her mind no matter what, don't waste your time! Even if you talk to her she won't quit doing what she does. I would however talk to your stepson (having ur husband there as well) about lying and how it causes problems between parents.
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 11:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

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