Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is Love a choice?

Who out there believes that love is a choice. I would like to hear your story. Let me know if you"re married and for how long. Didi you have the falling in love feeling or did you choose to love your SO??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I fell in love with my husband, but I do think that after a period of being married it is a choice, you can keep loving him and make it an honest effort to do so, or you can give up.

    Answer by feesharose at 12:41 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • i dont beleve the FEELING of love is a choice, its a chemical reaction in our bodies that creates that feeling of attraction when we see someone. I beleive we can then choose what to do with that feeling,

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • thats what they say....

    i don't really know what i believe. im hoping to always be in love and be 90 and still madly in love with my hubby and have kids want to be like us LOL i want to be like the notebook.... however i don't want to lose my mind!!

    Is that unrealistic?? =D

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • When we first started dating, I was hesitating to love him, but yeahh I did eventually fall in love with him. Now that we're married for over a year, I don't think that I can choose to love or not to love him now that we're in this deep. I mean that's why some women forgive their husbands for cheating or abusing them. It's obvious that some should just dump their sorry asses but we don't because love is blind.

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 12:46 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Yea I believe loving some one is a choice you make. I have been married to my DH for almost a year and engaged for 2. I chose to love him regardless of his baggages he brought in our marriage.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • i dont think its a choice

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • OF COURSE it is a choice.

    We are not dumb animals tied to our hormones.

    ADULTS make choices to to love and stay in love. CHILDREN "fall" in love.

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • As for not leaving a husband - that is also a CHOICE.

    You are CHOOSING not to respect yourself or your children.

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • No, I don't think you can choose who you love. But I DO think that while you love one person that doesn't mean they were the only person out there for you. I love my husband and he loves me. But I also know that had we not met, he'd have found another girl he fell in love with and I would have found another guy that I fell in love with.

    I've been in love with 3 men. I don't know that a life time relationship would have worked out with the first 2, because I didn't give it that chance. But I committed to Dh and know that we will have a lifetime relationship. Even though I also know that there are other people out there that we could be susceptible to falling in love with if we allowed ourselves to do that.

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I do believe we chose. When I fell in love with my husband, it wasn't my choice, and when I fell out of love with him, it wasn't a choice. But I chose to put my marriage, and our children first, and I did fall back in love with him. It is possible, and it is a good thing. I also fell in love with another man, and it was hard to give up the dream that he was my soul mate. But I did it, and it was the best thing for me-and my family. I never cheated, except in my mind, but my marriage and family have been restored, and I learned a valuable lesson. Love doesn't just happen. We do have some control over it, and good thing. People shouldn't live by just feelings alone.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.