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13 Bumps

I need advice not sarcasm or judgement please!

I will try and keep this as short as possible. My husband and i had a huge fight yesterday and he put his hands on me i don't want to get into the gruesome details it wasn't horrible but it was enough to open my eyes. this was done in front of our four kids. I have two kids and he has two kids we don't have any together. when ever we fight he always reminds me that his two are his and i can't be near them. I am a SAHM and have raised his two since they were 2 and 1 and they are now 6 and 8. bio mom walked out on them. My hubby is miltary and yesterday he did everything in his power to try and get me kicked out even tho he was the one that startes. my son was the one that called the cops and i am so proud of him for it. I guess my question is mainly for military people that have been thru this or any advice that would help. I have never been thru a divorce and don't know what my rights are. He has me so scared to do anything but i can't ;et him walk all over me and scare me into thinking that i don't deserve anything. He always resorts to this is mine not yours b/c he is the sole bread winner right now. I don't have a income and not sure what my rights are and i also have been told by friends conflicting things. My friends are split 50/50 on me trying to work it out with him but i don't think i should but if it comes down to i have to due to having no other options then i need advice on how to handle that as well. please help and don't judge i just need advice. thank you!



****UPDATE*** i left the house with half of everything and have just recently moved back in thats why i have not been on here. There were stipulations to the move back in i was with no contact with him for a week and then only text then on phone. I have started counseling and the kids were already in so they will continue with that and today he and i have a appt. with a marriage counselor. I am taking it very slow and have had numerous talks with the children and him. I am not guaranteeing that the marriage will work just want to give it a try to at least say that i did everything i could before divorce happens. So we will see how this goes. Thank you all for your support and help.****


Asked by amberpaiz at 5:43 PM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,644 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (47)
  • With military, especially since there was domestic violence, you can stay on the military housing until the divorce is final, after that you and your children will have to move out. You will get child support and possibly alimony depending on how long you have been married.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:51 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • you can report him to his commander, you must have evidence because your son called the cops right ?

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:49 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Contact a local women and children shelter- they will be equipped to help you escape and help you understand you rights. Or try calling 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:51 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • well i am not military so i don't know about the rights etc.. but you should leave him. do it for your kids.

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:47 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • call you parents, your sibliings anyone,, you can go to the bank tomorrow, and get into the account,, you can take all that is in there and go,, so soryy momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:54 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • call his commander and then take you and your kids to a women's shelter.

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2011


    You need to get recommendations of attorneys from your friends or relatives, then get their numbers and call them and ask if they give free consultations. I have provided you a link of an article that tells you all the things you will need and what you will need to ask them. I hope it works out for you. Stay strong for your kids, and God bless you. I know it must be so hard for you right now.


    Answer by maggiebgood at 5:56 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • It's not HIS money it's both of your, and you have the right to walk into the bank and pull out all the money you want and start a new life. I hope things do get better for you dear, *hugs*. My SO starts this from time to time about HIS everything his house, his car, his money. I told him her could shove his house, his car, and his money up HIS ass and I will take HIS kids and HE will never find us again. Then he can be a lonely old man with all HIS crap. bump

    Answer by letlovegrow2524 at 6:01 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Careful! Watch how u handle this,he could get kicked out of the military! Plus with a divorce,I don't think u would get custody because u don't work. U need to check with a lawyer.

    Who cares if he gets kicked out he is a criminal and deserves jail time. She would get custody of her two kids they are not his. The other two kids probably would be better off with her but they are his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I don't know anything about the military, but I know a lot of states are 50/50 states. If you are married, it is not just HIS money. Are you on the bank account? Go to the bank and withdraw money and file a restraining order.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 5:52 PM on Jul. 11, 2011