Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Child support question about a child we didn't even kow existed until yesterday!

My Dh apparently impregnated his girl friend prior to me and she is 12. this woman has sent Dh a summons of r a paternity test and possible Child support. She sent a letter saying she did not tell him cause he was already with me and she was 'scared' to tell him but she needs the support and his daughter is asking baout him. I have no issue having a relationship with this girl- child support scares me 'cause we are struggling already but a friend told me we would own 12 years of back support! How can that be we didn't even know she was conceived let alone born! Is that true? I mean I know the baby might not be his but she sent pictures and it looks like it is. And DH is pissed cause he missed her entire childhood and we only have boys. He had a little girl and missed it almost completely if this is true.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Jul. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Why would he have to pay 12 years of child support if it was not even ordered and now that a paternity test is being requested. He did not even know the child existed and the Mother says she never told him, so he should not have to pay anything but start getting to know her from now and being there financially from now on (if paternity states he is the father)
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:34 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I would definately keep any proof you have of her admiting that she never told him about this child~!
    prettynpink343

    Answer by prettynpink343 at 6:39 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Talk to a lawyer who can answer all of your questions.
    dustbunny

    Answer by dustbunny at 6:45 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • call the shit out of a bunch of lawyers tomorrow morning
    sophistcatdfury

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 6:48 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • She needs to prove paternity before this goes any further,, if it is true,, yes your hubbs will be liable for all of the back years, but they won't make him pay it all at once,,IDK I smell something not right,, but get the DNA test first!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:01 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • She sent pics...She could vary well be his... they have a lot of alike features but then again we are_looking_ for them...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:33 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • You wont owe back support. You will only owe from the day she filed. Thats how it works so dont worry about that part. But yes, do the paternity test before anything else. If he is the dad....be sure she knows (The daughter) that he knew NOTHING of her and is GLAD to have her in his life no matter what. Too many kids get hurt in this type of situation. *hugs* and good luck.
    RickysGirl411

    Answer by RickysGirl411 at 7:36 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I agree with Rickysgirl. I know the money can be an issue, especially when things are tight. But, the overal picture here, is you possible have a new member to your family. When it goes to court, and if he's the father, he needs to demand time with this child. She will be so confused, and hurt by all this. She needs to understand that he had NO IDEA that he had a daughter, and now that he does, he cannot wait to build a relationship with her. And, she now has a step mom and brothers she never knew about that cant wait to meet her.
    The judge will immediately open up to your hubby. See that hes a good guy. And, theres no way he'd have to pay for the years he didnt know about. unless she can prove he did know, and never did anything about it. KEEP ALL communications between her and you. Especially the ones that states he didnt know about the child.
    Good luck!
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 8:29 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN