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Needing opinions about children's behavior....

Ok so I am involved with FPS, which is an outside agency from CPS. My CPS case is closed, but I have FPS helping me with the girls because I am getting ready to have a baby in a couple weeks. Both my girls have Autism, they have bad attitudes, their speech is behind and so is their comprehension.

My FPS worker told me to try and put my girls in their room and shut the door as a form of punishment. Well, we gave it a try and it back fired very badly. My daughter got so mad that she completely busted her dresser (my daughters are 5 years old.) I can't get her anger under control. I am resorting to taking away all their stuff for each incident that we have. I will not spank my children, so please don't offer that as an opinion. I just don't know what to do at this point.


Asked by LoveMyBabies509 at 7:49 PM on Jul. 11, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My much younger step-sister had some very serious issues when she came to live with us. My mother had a hard time dealing with her, but we all loved her very much. When she was 6 I stayed with her full time. Her therapist told me to lock her in her room as punishment, too, and it didn't work. She destroyed everything and climbed out the window onto the roof. What I ended up doing was sitting in a big recliner chair and putting her in my lap and wrapping my arms around her in a bear hug when she would have these fits. She would try to thrash and scream and I would just hold her firmly and speak softly to her, telling her I love her, I know she is upset, it's okay to be angry, we need to calm down and talk, ect. Once I could get her calm I would explain that she has to go and sit calmly in her room for 5 minutes so we can be done with this and move on with our day. CONTINUED

    Answer by AngelicaDem at 8:27 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • *hugs* Autistic kids have their own special challenges, for sure. I teach my kids appropriate behaviour by talking to them, not spanking or other punishments, but if you can't communicate effectively with them, that's not really an option. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you, but wanted to wish you all the best for your girls and the new baby.

    Answer by judimary at 7:58 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Is there any way you could have a "safe" area of your house where you could have them go as a temporary place to get themselves under control? A room that doesn't have much stuff in it or anything that could be broken? My son was rather wild when he was really little so we took out almost everything in his room but his bed at one point. We put his clothes and other items on a high shelf in his closet, one that I could reach but he couldn't. If he was sent to his room, there was nothing he could hurt or hurt himself with. If he was having a tantrum, the worse he could do was kick the door. Usually he'd get tired of it after a couple of minutes or tantrum himself to sleep. Good luck with everything.

    Answer by cege at 8:14 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • What did happen after you shot the door?
    Did you let your daughters know that you were there for them but you needed them to reflect about what they have done?
    Did you assure your girls that you weren't leaving and that you would open the door promptly as long as they stop the inappropriate behavior?
    I also need to ask if you had the professional with you when applying this method of discipline?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Who ever left the anonymous posting, to start off with, I feel a little bashed on with your reply. And second of all, yes I did all that. Could you please word your replies a little less threatening in a sense so no one feels like you are coming on strong.

    Comment by LoveMyBabies509 (original poster) at 10:32 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • It has been proven from a scientific point of view that children with Autism with difficult behaviors can benefit from ABA instruction.
    Applied Behavioral Analysis is based on B. F. Skinner principles of behavior. I don't know if the school is already providing this therapy but you can also request ABA home-based instruction. Teachers specialized on Verbal Behavior are the ones who can help you with this issue.

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 7:42 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Once she went to her room calmly, I would get her back out and praise her for helping to resolve the problems. At first, this process would take all day. Each time it went quicker. Finally, we could bypass the big chair and she would calmly go to her room. It took the better part of a year to get to the going calmly to her room part. So, that's what worked for me. Good luck and take care.

    Answer by AngelicaDem at 8:30 AM on Jul. 12, 2011