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2 Bumps

Mistrust & marital problems adult content

Hello everyone.

Yesterday I posted a question about my husband receiving strange phonecalls, a woman calling our home and talking about a party she'd attend with him etc.

I've been thinking of this in mistrust and emotional pain, and this evening he had a "Congrats" balloon in his car. I felt upset cause I remembered the woman calling me about the party, so I asked him about it. He said he bought it for me, cause I expected some good business news - forgot all about it.
To punish me for my mistrust he was shouting at me, broke the balloon close to my face, and spilled the wine he said he bought for us.

* * *
I'm lost.... I don't know what's going on, but I'm so unhappy.

... we've lost trust, and along with trust we 've lost patience, understanding, hope, i.e. the basic ingredients of love.

He insists he doesn't know the woman who called, he says he's innocent, and screams so loud.
From my point of view, he's hurt me in the past (condoms in his stuff, some intense flirting with other women in front of me, etc) so every time something "funny" happens, I remember the past and I just don't trust him.

Please help me, if he's innocent he doesn't deserve my doubts, but I've been so lonely & hurt.....


Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jul. 11, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I've also read at least some of your posts. Two things come to mind. 1) Methinks he doth protest too much, and 2) Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

    His past behavior says that SOMETHING is going on here that he refuses to fess up to. I would seriously consider leaving him to his lies.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:24 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • The louder they yell, the guiltier I start to think they are. Normal people don't react that way if they are innocent.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:24 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I responded to your first question. The condoms and stuff definitely taint what could have been considered "innocent" fun by his coworkers. After reading this, and the way he treated you, I'd have to walk away and consider my options. You deserve to be treated with respect.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:12 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • I've read your posts, he is not innocent. You two need counseling. But he's not willing to admit his crap.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:20 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Have you looked into counseling?

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:22 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • ok here goes....he is not faithful. you found condoms in his stuff in the past ? what was his explanation for that one ?? things that make you go hmmm... he is just defensive because you are catching on. know your worth. ps..i remember your post from yesterday.

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:23 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • In my experience, the angrier someone gets in situations like these, the more they are hiding. It's a bad sign that he has started turning things around on you, and blaming you for "overreacting" when it's his own fault you don't trust him.

    Answer by JessiFaye at 10:23 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Rosehawk hit the nail on the head.

    Answer by popzaroo at 11:27 PM on Jul. 11, 2011

  • Whether he is "innocent" or not, the very last line you wrote spoke volumes: You are hurt and lonely. So while he may be "innocent" in the sense that he's never put his you-know-what somewhere that it doesn't belong, he has obviously been hurting you in many other ways. His ignorance of that hurt and refusal to acknowledge is reason enough for you to leave him. But I know it's easier for us to tell you those things than for you to actually do them. I hope no matter how, you finally find some happiness

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 11:31 PM on Jul. 11, 2011