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3 Bumps

Upset! adult content

Ok I just got remarried. My husband is wonderful with one flaw. Whenever my 14 year old daughter does something stupid, he will wait until she is out of earshot and mutter something like "stupid" or "idiot". Now, this pisses me off and hurts my feelings. I know a little about his ex stepdaughter who was teaching other girls at 13 how to give blowjobs and hooks herself. So I sat down with hubby and asked him. "Did you ever mutter to your ex wife that her kid was stupid?" He said "no, cause she's not." I said "did you ever mutter to your ex wife that her daughter was a whore?" He said "no." I said "then why is it ok to say my daughter is stupid?" He said "look. I love you and I love her very much. Sometimes she acts like she has no brains. I understand you backing her up because you are her mother but she needs to think." I got mad and said "you treat my kid one way and your ex stepdaughter another."

What should I do? Please no bashing. Besides farting, this man has very little flaws.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I would make sure to mutter jackass whenever he is in earshot.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:24 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • That flaw would be a deal breaker for me. He needs some sort of counseling if he thinks it's okay. That could do psychological damage to her, and make her have low self esteem.
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 12:29 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • That is a pretty cavalier attitude for him to be sporting. Girls are very tender hearted as teens and need love and guidance, not to be called idiot and stupid. His remarks could seriously damage her psyche. Even if he thinks she can't hear it, she probably can. It is really NOT cool.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:24 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Girls need love and guidance, especially from their male roll models. The relationships they have with their dad's and ans stepdad's shape their relationships for the rest of their lives. He needs to stop it completely.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:26 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I think the name calling is a serious flaw; the farting - not so much. And if I had to choose between the two - well, I'd stock up on air freshener. As far as daughter "not hearing it" - YOU can hear it! He needs to understand that it has to stop. It's disrespectful (to you and daughter), hurtful, and does not promote a loving, harmonious father/daughter relationship, let alone a loving harmonious husband/wife relationship. She's a teenager - all teenagers make mistakes and exhibit faulty logic, reasoning, etc., it's part of growing up. Believe it or not, people are very attuned to how others in their families feel about them - if he thinks daughter doesn't know what he's thinking about her - he's wrong and that thinking can have a huge (negative) impact on daughter and her choice of men in the future. Ask him to think about that the next time he says she's "stupid." Demand, don't ask, that he stop it, mama.
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 1:47 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Him calling your daughter stupid is a HUGE flaw!

    I wouldn't stand for it. It has to stop at all costs. He needs to hold his tongue or leave.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:06 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • The only "Stupid/ Idiot" here is him for calling a 14 year old child "Stupid" or "Idiot", he needs to grow up! & you did right by defending your daughter don't ever let him call her that again because one day she will eventually hear him & that is going to hurt her feelings.
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 12:30 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Well to me, this is a big flaw. Nobody would call my daughter a name. I do not know if he did this before but if he did, nice person or not I would have not married him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I get pissed if my husband makes a comment about our own son so I can just imagine how PISSED you'd be because honestly there is no difference between either dd! Did he give another excuse as to why he treats them different when they are teenagers and just learning life? I hope you 2 can talk about this touchy subject

    dedicatedmama2

    Answer by dedicatedmama2 at 12:10 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • How many times has he been married?
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:11 AM on Jul. 12, 2011