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I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!

OK my ex-husband hasn't paid any child support exept $50.00 since he's had to pay child support. His visitation is also suppervised by his mother or grandmother because he slapped my child. Anyway the problem is I just found out why his work hasn't responded to the letter the courts sent about his child support. HE MOVED OUT OF STATE and quit his job. Well im remarried to a wonderful loving husband who loves Alana as his own and would love to adopt her. Im just trying to deside should I go thew DHR and get the child support or just terminate his rights and my husband adopt her? My husband already support my daughter.

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AlanasMommy2007

Asked by AlanasMommy2007 at 12:06 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It just depends on whether you want to make him pay it because that was the arrangement or if you just want him out of your life for good. You can always put the child support money in a savings account for college.

    Grungalax

    Answer by Grungalax at 12:10 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • i can understand what you are going through because my kids dad barely visits them and doesnt want to pay child support. i think if your kids father is such a horrible guy and your husband is a wonderful father then your children would be better off with him as a father.
    poetryqueen

    Answer by poetryqueen at 12:11 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My husband and I have tried to get my ex to be in her life he just wont. He hasn't seen my daughter since December. But I dont know how about getting his rights removed. My husband and I dont have much money I mean we get the bills paid but like everyone in this economy were living month to month and can't afford a lawyer and the free legal services said they won't terminate a fathers rights.I JUST DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO! If something ever happend to me I don't want my daugfhter having to leave the only FATHER she knows.
    AlanasMommy2007

    Comment by AlanasMommy2007 (original poster) at 12:18 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My daughter's father left when she was 3. She is now 23. He never wanted anything to do with her life until after she turned 18. By that time she decided she didn't want to be a part of his life. Who could blame her though. Don't talk in front of her about it, let her form her own opinion over time. That's what I did. The last thing you want is your child holding that over your head. He made his choice, quit his job and moved out of state. I say that he has already made his decision. But it is his loss. The only way he can give up his parental rights is that he is going to have to sign a paper. Which means he is going to have to be found. Child support should be able to help you. Contact their office.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:36 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My husband and I are currently going through the step parent adoption proceedure. My situation may be a bit easier than yours because 1. my ex hasn't seen my son(who is 3 1/2) since he was 6 months old; 2. He was extremely violent with me(documented). 3; CPS required nothing but supervised visits(at the local office) if he was to visit with my son(never did) 4; He never pain one cent of child support.

    We have just now served him papers, he moved out of state and got arrested so we were able to find him, and are moving to terminate his rights based on abandonment(if he contests, if not then it is considered consent for the adoption). We started this process last October and was lucky enough to go through my University Student legal services so it has cost us a lot less and less stress for us.

    good luck, message me if you have any other questions or just want to talk and I'll answer as best as I can.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:42 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • OH I know where he is and where his new job is. We have documented proof the he abused my daughter. He's living in Texas with his 18 year old girlfirend and working at the Toby Keith Bar and Grill. What do I file to get his rights terminated? Who do I file it with?
    AlanasMommy2007

    Comment by AlanasMommy2007 (original poster) at 12:47 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • In Texas you file with the OAG, Greg Abbott is the attorney general of Texas. I am 28 years old and my dad never paid a dime of child support for me. He ran around and did the same crap, quitting jobs and dating younger women. I currently have an open case against him, to begin paying some of the 89,000 that is owed to me & my mom for back child support. Good Luck
    joshuamom5909

    Answer by joshuamom5909 at 1:03 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • if your new husband wents to adopt her and you think he is a good dad to her let him when you can get a lawyer but in the mean time get all the paper on your ex that you can to say that your ex is not willing to be her dad in any way if you think your ex is not a good dad it can help you with getting his rights taken away and making it so that your new husband can adopt her so you do not have to be scared that if something happens to you she will be taken from him
    rosebud143

    Answer by rosebud143 at 1:07 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Thanks everyone hopefully this can be worked out!!! If any one can offer more information Ill be greatful.
    AlanasMommy2007

    Comment by AlanasMommy2007 (original poster) at 1:10 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • It's better to wait a least a year with no support or contact before you try to strip him of his parental rights. Even a pack of gum is considered child support (sad isn't it?!). I went through this and my lawyer recommended I wait at least a year. I filed for non payment and requested he be stripped of his rights since he refuses to pay. I am still waiting for the court date.
    Mom_Of_3_Angelz

    Answer by Mom_Of_3_Angelz at 5:33 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

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