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4 Bumps

Are you involved in a domestic violent relationship? Have you ever been? How did you get out?

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35yoamom

Asked by 35yoamom at 1:18 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'm about to piggy back on this topic lol
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 1:19 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Yes, My mother's boyfriends were violent, extremely to her and mildly to us.

    Then my ex(father of my son) was extremely violent with me, he beat me, raped me on multiple occasions. I found out later that he had been talking about having the urge to kill me. I now have some hearing loss on my right side from him hitting me, have two herniated disc in my lower back, problems with my neck as well.
    I got out after he cheated on me(who thought that would be the reason) and then shattered half my windshield by punching it, as well as hitting me(which is where the hearing loss is from). I reported him that night with the help of a great friend. He stalked me for a year afterwards and threatened to kill me several times.
    If I had reported him for the rape(particularly the nasty one) he would have been charged with kidnapping as well(or false imprisionment) as well as the rape, but I never did.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:24 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • After leaving him I had bruises that lasted for a month and a half afterwards. I had help from friends and family, and had many Male friends that had actually been his friends that helped to protect me from him. Even though they never new about the sexual assault just the physical stuff.

    I left him several times before the final time but kept going/letting him back. I believe that came from my experiences as a child where my mother consistently did the same thing, even after one of her boyfriends broke both of her wrists causing her to be disabled for life.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:26 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • WOW. I am glad that you have gotten away. Are you in counseling?
    35yoamom

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 1:28 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I have been(was in conseling while with him) which helped me to get away as well. CPS had been called and they helped me to get into the Intense counseling program which helped me to make my decision to leave. I haven't gone back since, but have been thinking about it. I still deal with the after affects especially lately since my wonderfull husband and I are going through the process of terminating my ex's parental rights and my husband adopting my son. So it has brought everything back up, even though its been 3 years since I left it feels like yesterday. I'm comforted in knowing that he is across the country though..just found that out this month.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:32 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Yes. He was verbally abusive and was always threatening. He had never physically abused me, but I knew it would only be a matter of time. I had to walk on egg shells around him. He said if I ever left him that he would kill me. I left secretly...a little bit at a time. I would take some of my things with me that he wouldn't notice was missing when I would visit my mom. My mom was afraid of him, so I couldn't move back in with her. I stayed with a friend of my mom's that he didn't know anything about. After a few days, I moved to another state.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 2:00 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My husband was very abusive to me and my eldest child. It started out verbal and escalated from there. When I asked for a divorce; he backed off a bit; until I got pregnant by my X (second son's father) with my daughter. He tired everything he could to make me miscarry her; even broke my water and put me in labor at 36 weeks! I didn't know about DV Shelters or there were safe places you could go. I found out through a support group online. I got the nerve to call one day; had five minutes to pack; and a woman from the shelter and a cop grabbed me and my children while he was at work. He found me a year later and held me against my will for three weeks. But he got stupid and didn't think to have the neighbors keep an eye out for me on the backside of my house. I snuck out the back door with my babies and took off.
    Mom_Of_3_Angelz

    Answer by Mom_Of_3_Angelz at 4:39 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I was in a mentally abusive relationship that I just got out of last month. I was much more fortunate than a lot of other women in that his job keeps him away from home for a month at a time, so I didn't have to rush out in a matter of hours while he was at work, or worry about him coming home unexpectedly or anything like that.

    I got out after a fight in which he once again was telling me how stupid I was. I called my parents and told them I wanted to leave him. They hooked up their trailer, helped me pack my stuff, and brought my kids and I to their house. I called him later that day and told him I was leaving him. He was pissed, I think more because I took the money out of the bank account (I wasn't able to work while with him), but I reminded him that if I filed for a restraining order, he'd have to give up his guns. He stays away. We've talked since then, and he'd admitted he was abusive, so we'll see if he gets help.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:22 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • once use the law
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 11:15 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • An abuser has about as much chance of changing as a meth addict has ! The only solution to keep your sanity & stay healthy is to get out ! But, before you do : Be smart. Make sure you have seal-marked copies of birth certificates, social security cards, other legal papers. Search out hidden assets of a husband that you might be entitled to at least part of ( 401 K ??? ). Get important phone numbers, make sure you have a "safe house " to run to if you need it. You can't leave without money;---I'd say at least $500. If you don't have it, start saving your change TODAY ! Take pics of injuries inflicted on you or your kids; the court will be interested in these !

    To all you who are in abusive relationships---GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

    I left my abusive husband 14 years ago...
    IndigoRose

    Answer by IndigoRose at 12:12 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

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