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2 Bumps

Swingers - Are they trying to get with my husband? LONG adult content

DH is a restaurant store manager, it is a pretty relaxed place. He has this shift manager, J, who is married to K, and they are openly swingers. (They are currently expecting a baby, and we are as well). J has told DH about different times where they have been with other couples, or he has watched K with another man, etc. She comes and hangs out for J's breaks and will talk to DH about how wonderful her sex skills are. DH feels awkward with HER, so he'll just excuse himself when she starts talking like that, and will walk away. When its just J and DH, DH doesn't think much of it because its 'just guys talking'. A few weeks ago, SO hurt his back and had to leave work early. He called J in, and K made up a little goodie box for him (food, a heating pad, popsyicles - one for DH, DD and myself, etc.). J called a few weekends ago so K could ask me a question (about pregnancy - I've never actually met her before). I had some baby stuff that I didn't need and they did, so I dropped it off at the store for them, and they came running out to the car to thank me. I just smiled and waved and took off. I've thought they were too 'friendly' for a while and don't want to make nice with them. Then last week J asked DH what DH thinks about K, is she attractive. She is very unattractive, but DH didn't want to be mean, so DH told him, "She is your wife, you're the only one who needs to think she is." and J wouldn't drop it. DH told him, "Dude, I don't feel comfortable talking to you like this about your wife." And J tells him, "Well she has really low self esteem and she thinks you're really handsome. Getting a compliment from you would make her feel really good." So DH basically said that she was pretty. The next day, an employee walks over to DH and says, "J is telling everyone you think his wife is hot." DH flipped out, absolutely livid about the entire thing. I told him he should have put a stop to the behavior from day one, that him even talking to J about their sex life has been instigating all of this. He told me he would talk to J about it, that it is inappropriate, etc. Since then, J's mom killed herself, so DH hasn't felt like its been a good time to talk to J about the situation and what not.

But anyway, with all of this, I can't decide if they are just weird, or if they are trying to get my husband in bed! DH is convinced they are wanting both of us to come swing with them, but I am real uncomfortable with them.

I think DH is still going to talk to J when things with his mom calm down, tell J that K is NOT allowed at the store any more, and also that he is not comfortable discussing anything besides business from now on, but waht do you think the intentions were from these people? Just being overly nice? Interested in DH?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • they are trying to push their lifestyle on both of you so don't even try to be friendly they will take it the wrong way!!!!!


    Answer by traren at 1:51 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • it sure sounds like they would like a four some. what weirdos. they have no tact about the situation either. if i was your dh i would fire j because he is classless and should not be discussing that crap at work.

    Answer by gwen20 at 1:51 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Those two sound like they have problems. A LOT of problems. It's not surprising that K has low self-esteem and talks constantly about her alleged "sex skills", after all, her husband treats her like a breathing sex toy. And yes, it really does sound as if they are pressuring not just your husband, but you as well. I'd watch out if I were you. Don't ever be alone with this J person.


    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:51 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Swingers generally swing with other couples- NOT with one member of a married couple. I think you are just all too involved with each other's business....

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:07 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I re read this and had to add, we are NOT swingers! We've never been with other people, I am just uncomfortable with them in general.

    Also, these are all separate incidences over a few months time, but all of it is just weird to me. Put it all together and it seems like there is more to the behavior than just them trying to be friends with the boss..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:55 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • if hes very sexy yes but just 2 you are not invited jaja

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 11:13 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • This reminds me of a couple my dh worked with. My dh and coworkers all got together one night and went to a bar. This one guy kept trying to talk, it made me uncomfortable because he was really flirting (I'm terminally married, I don't flirt lol). I told my dh when we got to the car the guy was hitting on me. My dh said "no, he's married to ____". You must have misunderstood. So, a couple of months later there was a big blow up at his job where all these couples were swinging together (said man and wifey included)! Moral of this story: Trust your instincts. If you think they're after you or dh, they probably are! Tell dh to just keep his distance!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:39 PM on Jul. 12, 2011