Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you survive having a teenage girl who really knows your buttons?

This is a toughie.... My daughter is 14 and has really been pushing the limits lately. She isn't a bad kid but all of a sudden she has the idea in her head she can scream at her parents. I have tried about everything to deal with this issue but nothing has worked. HELP ME!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Terri771 at 1:58 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • When she screams at you tell her in a calm voice that you will not discuss anything with her when she is screaming and when she calms down you will talk. Then walk away. It's like ignoring a 2 yr old having a tantrum. My son went thru it bad. Dinally the only thing that worked was refusing to acknowledge him when he was screaming. Having said were about 9000 times I walked into my room closed the door and screamed into my pillow...but at least I refused to do it at him.
    There should be a consequence for bad behavior...yelling at anyone is bad behavior. You just let her know what she is doing is unacceptable, you love her, but refuse to converse at the top of your lungs.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Try dealing with a 14, 13, 12 and 9 year old all at the same time. 14,9 y/o girls and 13,12 y/o boys. It is PMS year round at my house. Even with the boys! Drama queens and kings 24/7. I need more than Calgon to take me away!!!!

    Answer by goinginsane1 at 2:39 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Trust me being calm makes it worse because they want a reaction out of you and will push you until they get it, so try and understand what she's trying to say and work a way around it.

    Answer by Mummytomore at 4:59 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • My 13 yr old daughter would not be to old for the 'belt' if she did that to me........ I promise you, I'll never loose the Control....... I set that from the get go.... I only had to use the belt once that I can remember when she was young, but boy it has done the trick............ "I've got one of the best kids in the Universe, and I get told that all the time, by teacher's etc.... and the teacher's say that comes from good Parenting.... - no Joke"... But I've kept the upper hand............... -- Not Extreme if anyone gets that idea... -- I could see me when she's 17, if I had to go look for her, I'd probablly have that belt with me.

    Answer by Kay300 at 12:26 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • As a mother of two teenage daughters 15 & 18 it took me a while to figure out how important to set limits, consequences, and to follow through! Both you and your husband need to be on the same page when it comes to your daughter. Communicate with your daughter, let her know good behavior = privileges & trust! DO NOT FEED INTO HER DRAMA! It's okay for you the mom to walk away from a screaming match than to allow your daughter to push your buttons. Trust me daughters know what words to say to make us moms react.


    Answer by mommiedear at 2:48 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I listen an dont get mad.I even some times sit down an watch them.While they are ranting.Then when they stop screaming I give an answer.In a nice voice.If they want their way some times they will follow me around the house screaming begging an demanding.AN IN THE END THEY WANT YOU TO GET SO FRUSTRATED YOU SAY JUST GO DO WHAT YOU WANT>Thats the goal of a screamer.So you cant do that ever or they will win an next time its worse.I find a nerve pill some times help me keep my really when you know their goal an watch them its sorta funny to see how far they will go to get their way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Have you tried laughing at her,lol. Just kidding, they tend to freak out over that. (although it has actually worked a couple times for me, it made her so mad that I wasn't taking her seriously she stormed off) But really the poster above nailed it, they are trying to wear you down so that you will get frustrated and give in. (my SO overheard my daughter telling her friends years ago all she had to do was whine hard enough and she could get whatever she wanted. She was so disappointed when that stopped working for her)


    Answer by Senyeh at 12:21 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.