I moved out of a tiny little town in search of work and found it 13 hours away in a different state. At the time, 2 years ago, I couldn't afford to bring my son with me (I have a very small family who are scattered throughout the country). Luckily, my son's father is active and was able to take him as the 'primary' caregiver. I have been financially stable and near graduating with my bachelors degree and I've been only seeing my son during Christmas and the summer.
Of course, I want to be with him all year! I feel that no one else could do a better job teaching him ethics, values and other important stepstones than I could. His father is a decent dad, but there are things that I really don't agree with.
Basically, I'm having a hard time with the decision, should I fight in court to bring him to the state I currently live in, which would take him away from the lifestyle that he has known for the last two years, or should I look at finding a job in small town, nowhere and moving back? I'm seriously stuck in this situation. My son is almost 7 and will be in 1st grade this fall. Any suggestions??
Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)
Answer by yesmaam at 10:01 AM on Jul. 12, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Jul. 12, 2011
Answer by kimigogo at 10:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2011
Answer by Cassy924 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 12, 2011
Answer by cara124 at 11:23 AM on Jul. 12, 2011
Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2011
You want advice from experienced parents ok, all three of my kids have two homes. When their mother decided to leave the town we all lived we knew it would be difficult, but not impossible.
We MADE it work, we worked AROUND the kids.
So both of my step kids live in Portland Or, myself, the kids dad and their step brother live in Beaverton. Technically we are but less that 20 miles away. We have to go through the city of Portland to get to the kids. Traffic always a bitch always. We just do it.
The kids go to school n Portland and that is were they will stay.
You will have to make sacrifices to be with your boy. Might have to take a job you dont like..dont have to be there forever.
Custody will not be as much as you want but that can change.
Answer by Ihatelaundry at 5:07 PM on Jul. 12, 2011
My biological son is five. His daddy lives about 40 miles away. I have him on the weekdays and a Saturday here and there.
IMO the worst thing to do to this kid is to up root him. Not to mention his dad. He has been there for him, taken care of the things that you cant being so far away. His dad took on a unbeilivabley hard job being a single dad. It would be sooo ungrateful of you to take the boy after all he has done FOR YOU and your son.
Think about the guys in your life...they are your family weather you like it or not. Don't be selfish, be patient and compassionate to them. They are not wrong to want you to sacrifice a few things if you are going to be a bigger part of their lives. Stop and think really hard about this. I feel you already know what is best for your son.
Answer by Ihatelaundry at 5:22 PM on Jul. 12, 2011
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