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Why does my 15 yr old hate us? adult content

I just don't understand my 15 yr old daughter.

She is angry with me right now because I'm letting her younger sister finish up on the family computer. I set the timer for 30 minutes, there are 15 minutes left. My 15 yr old calls me a *itch and is now cutting up paper in to tiny piece onto the floor which I'll have to clean up later.

She has Asperger's, but I'm not sure if it means anything.

I don't get it. She got up at 7 am yesterday and was on the computer till late at night and still feels intitled to it. She acts as if she owns it.

I just don't get it. To talk to her you would think she is the most neglected and deprived. I really think she belives this. Yes, it's true we can't afford much and she may not have everything a typical kid of her age has. (I'm guessing) But surely, she must notice that she is getting the lions share of everything around here.

The only one with her own space, her own room, tv, dvd, etc. (her computer should be fixed next week) She's the only one with an allowance, is allowed special treats, ect (she's been asked not to eat the chocolates she gets regular around the kids, they can't have it, allergies)

She almost never asked to do anything, the only kid that doesn't do chores.

and yet, she still feels like life is unfair to her and tell us off regularly. She often tells us parents are mean, always trying to make kids miserable, don't show respect, expect them to do things, and the list goes on forever. Is this what she thinks of us? Why? She gets her way 95% of the time.

What gives?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • She is 15 that is why.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Because she is 15.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 10:04 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • She's only acting the way you're letting her. Instead of picking up those pieces of paper, SHE should be cleaning up the mess. You say she gets her way 95% of the time - this is the problem. She knows she can walk all over you.
    Y.B.normal

    Answer by Y.B.normal at 10:04 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • WOW, she cuts up paper because she is upset & then you have to clean it up for her? Not, OK. My DD would be up shit's creek if she tried to act like that.

    You allow her to behave this way, that is why she does it. You need to put your foot down, grow some huge balls & demand that she treats people with respect in your house or she will NEVER get computer time.

    She acts that way because you let her. You have taught her how to act.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:07 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • She's the only one that gets special treats, she's the only one without chores...

    Buckle down, Mom. :)
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 10:08 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • You just said you have spoiled her!!

    you did not teach her to be part of the family.

    Hope its not to late? you need to sit down and write down the rules of the home and you must tell her often, that you love her and please do not speck badly to you.

    Must be firm and loving, stick to your home rules. These very smart kids need structure.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:12 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Do you let her behave that way and be the only kid without responsibilities because of her Asperger's? No matter the reason for it, it's a mistake. Especially autism spectrum kids need boundaries and structure. You've got to make her part of the family and give her responsibilities.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:26 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Sounds like you are trying to be her friend and not her mother. Dont let her act this way. You need to step up the parenting and quit letting her walk all over you. What does she do special to deserve allowance or special treats? Just because she has a disease and the other kids dont?? How fair is that to the other children??? Like the other posts have said GROW SOME BALLS AND BE A PARENT !!. As for her cutting up little pieces of paper, OMG if my kids did that because they were mad at me, dont think i wouldnt bust an ass for that. Your daughter isnt to old to get her ass spanked !!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Why is she treated so differently than the rest of the family. Why is she allowed to call you a B*tch? When i read your lead line I was going to say because she is a girl.... then I read your post.


    If you think she is entitled it is because she is. Two mom have suggested to "buckle down" and give her "structure" and I couldn't agree more. You are treating her like she is special not like she has "special needs".  Being a teenage girl is hard enough and she will hate you one minute and love you the next all on her own, but you need to be firm and consistent now because it will get worse.

    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 10:29 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • ok i'm going to talk to you as a mom of a son (9) who has aspergers ......your letting that be an excusss for her behavior.......is it easier to give in when they have fits (yes) should you give in (no) is part of the reason she acting this way because of the condition (yes) but the other part is because she is also a teenager and they have mood swings.......on of the first things you need to do (if you dont all ready) is get her in to some kind of OP therapy to show her what she is doing is wrong.....then the next thing you need to do is learn how to parent her (because you have to parent kids with aspergers differently than "normal" kids)......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:11 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

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